MFA Confidential Blog

Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Six: Subpar Weekend Edition

Words: 321Feelings: Hungoverness Sins: Avarice, baby. Nothing but Avarice. Fears: Rats, Drowning, Mad Cows, The Unbearable Lightness of Being Unproductive Thoughts: There comes a time, friends, when you need to let your hair down and cut loose, relax, open up the throttle, cut the rug, live the vida loca. And as...

Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Five: Subpar Weekend Edition

Words: 984Feeling: Dramatically Displayed Disgust. Sins: Sloth-like Avarice, Compulsive Gluttony Fears: I suffer from productivity hangovers, I need Ritalin badly but am too lazy to get tested for ADD, I will never get to the Seventh Operating Thetan Level of Scientology. Thoughts: Thinking isn’t exactly working out for me today. Look...

Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Four

Random Editorial Sidenote: Look, I’m the first to admit that I don’t know anything about Phil Spector, or trials, or how “the law” works, but, judging strictly from the pics of him I’ve seen, I’m 100% sure he’s guilty of whatever he’s being accused of. In the book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell...

Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Three

Brief Unrelated Sidenote: As a regular viewer of Elizabeth Hasselbeck “The View”, I feel it’s my duty as a journalist to relay the news that Rosie O’Donnell is leaving the show after only one year. Fox News is speculating that it’s because of obscene comments she made this week, while MSNBC...

Mission Semi-Impossible: Day Two

Words: 2216Feelings: Intense Periods of Motivation followed by Cravings for Applewood Smoked Bacon, Anger, Melancholy. Sins: Greed, Envy…Gluttony (see: Bacon, Applewood Smoked) (Tears For) Fears: That my butt muscles will cramp from lack of use, then atrophy, then cramp again, most likely while I’m sitting in a public place with my...

Mission Semi-Impossible: Day One

Words: 1743Feelings: Boredom, Nausea, A Sense that Something Cool is Happening Somewhere on the Internet and I’m Missing ItSins: Gluttony, SlothFears: Three pages don’t make any sense, might have changed one of main character’s last names mid-way through book without realizing, don’t understand why one character is always clapping in every...

On Editing, Jokes and Using the Word "Girded"

Introductory Sidenote: I am back in the United States, the land of freedom and patriotism and cars with automatic transmissions. There have been showers with good water pressure, washers AND dryers, and, inevitably, colors that don’t run. If you can’t tell, I’m very happy about this. So I was killing time...

A Book I Sort of Understand

Introductory sidenote: In this blog entry, every word that I either had to look up because I didn’t know how to spell it or because I didn’t really know the definition, I’ve decided to put in bold. This will probably never happen again, so appreciate the brief foray into my ignorance...

A Semi-Brief Clarification

Ok, wow. Judging from some of the comments I’ve received on the previous blog entry, I think there’s some confusion as to what the purpose of this blog both generally and as opposed to my column, and I feel the need to clarify. My column in WD follows my writing life....

The Perils of Google, Justin Timberlake and Cheetahs

Often, I google myself. I do this not just out of insecurity and a need to feel loved and appreciated but also because I want to– um, no, those are pretty much the reasons. But this is not always as fulfilling as I originally imagined it. First, there is the issue...

The Friendship Situation

“It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear, Well, it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. But, I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before. I’ll be there for you, cause you’re...

On Geniusocity

Warning: I was given one of those Coca Cola Blak coffee-Coke drinks for free by some promotion person right before I wrote this. Point being: Don’t drink Coa-Cola Blak. I took one of those online IQ tests that popped when I was trying to buy a used Fine Young Cannibals CDs...

Who Doesn't Like Book Lists?

Warning: This a rather aggressively lengthed post. The Scene: I am now in Istanbul in the first Internet cafe that had an American keyboard. It is warm here (maybe 60) and there are more cats in this city than in every musical cast combined of the contemporary musical Cats, which is...

Hi there

Oh hello. Unless you unintentionally clicked on the link to my blog while searching for a place to post romantic poems to Kevin Alexander Clark-that sassy, pre-teen heartthrob drummer from School of Rock, I assume you know who I am. But in case you don´t, or you´ve decided to momentarily abandon...