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Choose Your Own Commenting Adventure Part Deux

Categories: This Writer's Life.
Something Kind of Suspicious (Maybe)

Welcome back to our 2nd edition of the Choose Your Own Commenting  
Adventure. As we stated with the first one, have fun with it, but also, try and  
keep your comments relatively quick, because the longer you sit  
deciding what to do, the more likely it is that someone else may come  
in and add their own amazing iambic pentameter digression from the  
same point you are. But,  honestly, just have fun. At our protagonist  
Casey’s expense. Again.

Starting point:

    Casey walked into the office, pissed. This was the third time that  
it had happened this week. As he walked into the office, he noticed a  
blue car parked outside the building. The driver was wearing the same  
wraparound Oakley-style sunglasses that he’d seen on the guy sitting  
against the window at Anna’s Taqueria. “Weird,” Casey thought, “those  
are totally 90s.” When he got back to his desk, he say a Hallmark  
card sitting open on his desk. The card had clouds on the front and a  
clever saying about puppies. The inside of the card was blank except  
for a cut out piece of computer text in Georgia 14 pt font that said,  
“We know.”
    Suddenly a female voice called out from behind him, “…

WTF?!!?!?! Right? It’s your move, friends. Off you go.

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49 Responses to Choose Your Own Commenting Adventure Part Deux

  1. Jeanne says:

    …to the next corner, turned sharp, thinkin’ on his paws. Pinky had the goods to flatten curs. He’d rob from his hideout! Yah, he puffed.

    Ratz!! He spied albino ears behind the garbage can and… "Yikes!!"

  2. where it all goes down.

    "Whiskers, run first, run hard, and get the device. Chees-ola, help him."

    "I wish you’d call me Oscar instead of Chees-ola," the gray cat hissed as he sped off. Casey made his way…

  3. …get to the alley behind the Town Hall…

  4. Pat says:

    the pride of cats showed up. The big gray cat leaped on the back of one of the pit bulls and the rest followed suit. The howling and yowling could be heard for miles.

    Casey raced down the street and yelled"Come cats, we have to…

  5. Sara McNulty says:

    a spray bottle of his mother’s favorite Smurfette Toilette. The pit bulls reared up, bared their teeth and sniffed. At they stood on their hind legs, Casey aimed the spray bottle of the dreaded cologne and their noses and

  6. V says:

    was being chased by pit bulls. Not your neighborhood-friendly pits, but mean, tough, born-and-raised-in-the-Bronx pit bulls. He spotted a small building that looked like an abandoned clubhouse so he jumped over kudzu and landed inside slamming the rustic wooden door behind him.
    "Those damn dogs can’t get me now," he thought and panted to regain lost oxygen.
    He thought of Kurt Vonnegut’s stay in the cellar labeled "Slaughterhouse Five" during the bombing of Dresden, and wondered how long he’d have to stay in the clubhouse for the dogs to retreat.
    It didn’t take long before Casey realized he’d barely have enough material for one chapter of a novel detailing his stay.
    When the coast was unquestionably clear, Casey emerged with

  7. Erin says:

    If Casey’s mom finished her sentence, he didn’t hear her. Suddenly all other noise was being drowned out by a chorus of high-pitched barking and yelping. Casey…

  8. "Casey, Get back here!" his mother yelled after him. "We don’t have time for your drama–we have REAL drama to contend with. We have to get that blue laptop case before…"

  9. weasie says:

    leaving his mother trailing behind him. All the cats looked at each other, wondering what they should do.

  10. robin says:

    could deal with the constant crapola? I mean, the unending drama was worse than the new 90210 show (really? did we need it back?). Casey grunted and took off..


  11. Christine says:

    and run, Forrest Gump style, across the country. He was so done handling everyone else’s problems. What about his own life? What about his needs? Wasn’t there anyone who…

  12. V says:

    to leave. He needed to get away. No, this isn’t ever the right decision, but there is no right choice. Casey was going to run like hell, and no wrap-around Oakleys were going to stop him. He’d wear his aviators…

  13. Olivia says:

    since the last time we fought the killer koalas in the basement at the Alamo."

    "There’s no basement at the Alamo, you freak."

    "There’s no snow on the sun, either, but who cares?"

    Casey smacked his lips in contemplation. There was only one decision left to be made, and that was…

  14. Pat says:

    What happened to the guys with the wraparound Oakley-style sunglasses? I haven’t seen them….

  15. Erin says:

    the Snowman."

    "The Snowman?" Wizard asked. "Is that a codename?"

    "That remains to be seen," Casey said. "I’m curious…"

  16. Pat says:

    the blue laptop case at the office. We have to deliver it to…"

  17. Olivia says:

    "Face it, you balls of feline fury, dogs really are a man’s best friend."

    "Enough of this." Casey’s mother interrupted. "We have to get back to the Texas Roudhouse before happy hour. That’s when it all goes down. Remember, Case? We’re picking up the…"

  18. weasie says:

    "Why do you keep getting involved with the dogs, Casey?" Wizard, the large calico, asked.

  19. Jeanne says:

    …Pinkie, their albino in charge, has been fed yet this year…

  20. Christine says:

    ready the radioactive leashes."
    "Those haven’t been tested!" one of the smaller cats said. "It’s all theoretical. We don’t even know if…

  21. weasie says:

    call in the big rats to make the dogs chase their tails and …

  22. Leigh says:

    Ringo, the large, gray, battle scarred tom, eldest and wisest of the conspirators read the truth on Casey’s face. He shook his head, one notched ear twitching with disappointment. "I told you to stay away from those dogs. Didn’t I?"

    "Dogs?!" said another, whose name Casey could never seem to remember. "If that’s true, the only thing we can do is…

  23. weasie says:

    take our seventh cat nap."

  24. meowed, "We could smell you coming. What’s going on? Why do you need us? We were all just getting ready to…

  25. Pat says:

    cat stepped forward and…

  26. Erin says:

    27 pairs of yellow eyes appeared through the dark.

    "How do you guys do that?" Casey asked.

    One of…

  27. hideaway where he frequently collected his cat conspirators. He laid the bits of cheese around the room, also lighting the usual candles that came with these cabals.

    When he turned out the lights…

  28. Christine says:

    ran out of his office, his mother trailing behind him. Stopping at the pet store on the corner, Casey filled his pockets with catnip and left a trail of fuzzy toy mice that led to the secret…

  29. Tom says:

    …really had no clue how to proceed, but seeing as how he had few alternatives, he…

  30. Erin says:

    long for a Blue Lagoon Margarita. But there was still work to be done, and cats to be assembled. He…

  31. Christine says:

    just like the one Maria had worn the first night Casey had seen her. Seeing the sombrero now made Casey…

  32. Melanie says:

    …where a three and half foot tall blow-up flamingo was lumbering down off a coworker’s desk. Casey didn’t like the crazed look in its black puffy eye. The festive Cabo San Lucas sombrero sitting atop its head was…

  33. weasie says:

    "What, mother?"
    "What is that?" She pointed to the corner of the office…

  34. Olivia says:

    …once they learned how to hold the giant lollipops it was nothing but "ding-dong the witch is dead" running through my brain forever after, and then…

  35. Julie says:

    "Because," Casey said, slouching in defeat, "I taught them to read. But it was the opposable thumbs that was the real cause of the chaos."

  36. weasie says:

    "Because you’re going to turn everything into a circus."
    "Mother, I have to do this."
    "Fine. If you must, you must. I have just one question. Why do the puppies know more than they should?"

  37. Tom says:

    "Why not?"

  38. weasie says:

    a desperate attempt but the only thing he could do.
    "I know it’s bad to talk about you, but, Casey, you’re crazy to feed cheese to cats. What kind of trouble are you in? Why can’t you just tell me."
    "Mother, I don’t think you can handle it."

  39. Genevieve says:

    the milk had expired in August. There was only cheese now. And Casey knew that only one guy would be crazy enough to feed cheese to cats. It was…

  40. Erin says:

    a saucer of milk. But it was too late…

  41. Christine says:

    assemble the cats!"
    "Not the cats, Casey, dear!" his mother gasped.
    "Yes, Mother. The cats," Casey said as he scrambled around his office looking for…

  42. Kevin Alexander says:

    tried to infiltrate that group of puppies at the dog park? And all the neighbors got freaked out because you said that one of them was carrying a microfilm in his stomach and the difference between saving mankind and certain decimation was going through several pounds of smelly–"

    "Okay, okay, yes, Mom," Case interrupted. "I remember. But that was when I was 8, and on A LOT of Dramamine."

    He looked out the window, gasped and quickly shut the blinds. "Oh God, we have to…"

    (Nice work everyone… and by the way, Erin, I LOLed hard on yours)

  43. "You haven’t gotten yourself into anything dangerous…have you son? Why, I remember the last time this happened. Remember how you…"

  44. Erin says:

    they know things." Casey’s voice had turned somber, and there was a faraway look in his eyes. "These puppies know things they shouldn’t."

  45. "Puppies?" queried Casey’s mom, "Puppies are so cute!"
    "These puppies aren’t cute," grumbled Case, "they’re more dangerous–and vicious–than you could imagine. Why they…"

  46. Genevieve says:

    some puppies who are blackmailing me…

  47. "How does a mother forget her child’s birthday," sighed Casey, "but, no you didn’t forget my birthday. It’s a Hallmark card from…

  48. Genevieve says:

    Mother! Always a pleasure to see you at work. Your hair is gorgeous. Are you using that blue dye I gave you for Christmas?"

    "Smurfette toilette? It’s my favorite." She glanced at the card. "Shucks, did I forget your birthday again?"…

  49. Olivia says:

    "That’s right, dear, it’s me." Casey would know that voice anywhere. It was his mother. Every horrible childhood memory of puppies and clouds came back to him full force, and there was no amount of vanilla mint chapstick that would get him out of this one.
    He put on his best fake smile and said, "…

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