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If A Blog Falls in the Woods; The (Real) Reason I Haven't Been Posting

Categories: This Writer's Life.
Hi, friends. 
You may be wondering why I haven’t posted on my blog in several weather cycles. I would wonder, if I were you, because you seem like such a concerned reader, and you’ve always loved the Internet. Well, normally I would harp on about how my deadlines have been strenuously entrenching me with posting block, and how I recently got 16 stitches in my chin and lost two teeth in a basketball-related accident, and that would be (scarily) true. But the real reason that I haven’t written anything of note in nearly a month is because of an economic maxim no doubt affecting everyone in journalism: I haven’t been paid. In, like, a long time.

When I left the column-writing world, I was asked to retain my blog, partially because that was where most of my writing was done anyway (save 6 1200 word columns a year), and more likely, because blogging is a great bit cheaper in a words-for-the-money type way, and my readers tended to skew younger, or more interweb savvy, and thus would be affected less if I was still allowed to riff on procrastination and post Ting-Tings music videos. It seemed to be a no-lose scenario; I’d still get to do my business, and they would still be able to retain my 18 readers, at a significantly cheaper price. We had some ground rules — I was to post on Tuesday mornings, keep to writing-world related topics, and avoid Polish Youtube videos of the intro to Tailspin.

And so it went.

But then a weird thing happened. And by weird, I obviously mean bad: I didn’t get my negotiated payment(z). Like, at all.

This puts me in an uncomfortable position, obviously, because I do love posting to the blog and I really only do it because I have such sweet, cool, and aesthetically talented readers, and the pay is, admittedly, pretty nominal, but still — you’ve got to draw the line somewhere, right? I mean, if I’m not getting paid, then I might as well just post to my own blog, and throw up all the links to old Disney Afternoon intros that I could ever need, along with a bunch of hilarious poems that I’ve been holding for special occasion, and several links to my Facebook photo albums from Europe, and the things that I would Tweet about if I knew how to use Twitter. But then again, I’m lazy, so really–who knows?

Maybe it’s all a big misunderstanding. Maybe my checks were getting sent to and cashed by my Mom, who is using them to buy old seasons of 227 and Designing Women. Or maybe I actually got fired, but I’m like that dude in Office Space who still comes into work, just because he’s not sure where else to go.

Anyway… this, friends, is where I’m at right now. I’m sorry that I haven’t been posting, I really am, and it would’ve pained me to give you some fake excuse about my over-usage of calisthenics. You’re better than that.

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15 Responses to If A Blog Falls in the Woods; The (Real) Reason I Haven't Been Posting

  1. Linda says:

    Wow. That was a surprise. Or rather a shock. I just assumed you were so busy with other ventures and didn’t have time to post here. Hope all works out for you and that we get to see those funny poems some time. Everyone needs a little humor in his life and you supplied that in your column and blog.

  2. Tom says:

    Okay, I’m cool with all this. I mean, not really cool that it’s happening as it is and all that, but I appreciate being informed of it all, and I can understand having to draw a line in the sand. This reminds me of one of those decisions I had to make when I was working my way up in the local performing musician community. Sonner or later you have to stop doing gigs for free, particularly when said free gigs were originally supposed to be paid gigs.

    That said, it is great to hear from you again. I checked today not expecting to find anything, and was pleasantly surprised to find a blog full of physical and financial pain. Well, not pleasantly surprised, but…you know.

    I’m getting a root canal this coming Tuesday. Does that make you feel a little better? It’s on a tooth that already has a crown. That help? No? Shoot, sorry. As one who has given the dentist literally thousands of dollars over the past three years (enough to buy a 19-year-old Plymouth minivan with very low mileage, actually) it pains me to hear of your misfortunte. I, literally, feel your pain. I hope your grille repair turns out flawlessly.

    I sign off with hopes that this whole thing gets cleared up forthwithly and whatnot so we can go back to enjoying The Kev on a regular basis. If you have to move, please leave a forwarding address, with comments, two weeks prior to change of residence.

  3. Deanna Schrayer says:

    Kevin, here’s a big pot of chicken soup for ya! I know that doesn’t make this mess any better, but I hope it helps heal the chin. Like Cindy, I’ve never posted here before, but I’ve always been a fan of yours – I only came here after your column in the mag disappeared, (and I was quite sore about that one). I don’t think I could live without reading your hilarious writing. Do keep us posted and if you end up doing your own blog, I look forward to reading the poems, (maybe it’ll make me feel better about my own :)).

  4. Uti says:

    What a sadness.

    I have read your column from the start and then the blog.
    I am Indonesian, living in Austria, writing for Indonesian, Germany and Austrian media, and I can tell you that all what you said really happens in writer’s life around the world. No matter where they are and which medium they write.
    I can even say I am addicted to you!
    I was bitterly disappointed when your column was canceled and now this.

    If you want to go elsewhere, please let us know.

  5. Genevieve says:

    Oh and I admire your honesty. It shows loaylty to your band of lowly readers to let us know what’s up and not just disappearing.

  6. Genevieve says:

    I agree with everyone. Including the people who thought the same things and didn’t post them. I can’t believe they haven’t paid you, and I totally understand. I love reading your stuff, man, even if it has nothing to do with writing. You really could just start a blog about nothing in particular and you’d have a good readership.

    I hope you’re healing up nicely. Get your sweetheart to bring you lots of soup. And money. Lots of money.

  7. Elizabeth says:

    You’re one of the best things about "Writer’s Digest" and you’re too good not to get paid. Your writings always make me smile and your words are quick, witty and deserving of a big fat check!

  8. Dori says:

    This really sucks that they haven’t paid you. There is no reason why you should continue to blog "for" them if they aren’t living up to their end of the deal. I really enjoy your blog. It’s a guaranteed smile. Please let us know if you go elsewhere, build it and we will come.

  9. Pat Marinelli says:

    I was concerned and have checked a few times to see if you showed up. Sorry to hear about the stitches and your teeth.

    Ditto for me on all of the above, Kevin. I have followed your career from the start both with you column and the blog. I was sorely disappointed when your column was canceled and now this.

    I hopefully want WD to pay you and hold to the agreement. But as a person with layoffs in the family, I know this is a “Sign of the Times.” “I Will Follow Him” I certainly want to be included if you move somewhere else to blog. I mean after all, ‘hilarious poems that I’ve been holding for special occasion’, who could resist.

    Thanks for keeping us informed. It was the professional thing to do—and you are a professional writer!

  10. Olivia says:

    Kevin, that is the biggest pile of steaming $#!% Wow. I totally understand why you haven’t been posting, and I’m glad you gave us the decency of knowing what the hell is going on.

    Not to make it seem any less bad than it is (cuz what’s happening here is on a huge level of badness), but I kind of expected this at some point. I was surprised that they allowed you to keep your blog after cancelling your awesome column. But that’s no reason to re-nig on an agreed payment. They are benefiting from you being here, drawing people into their little space in the internet world. You deserve something in return other than…well, pretty much nothing, cuz that’s what you’re getting.

    As someone already said in the above comments, I hope you continue to blog somewhere else (so long as you get to keep that pic of you sniffing the potted plant). Wherever you go, I’m sure all of us will follow. Your brainwashing techniques are superb. ;)

    For the first time in months, I’m including my e-mail link with my signature, in case you decide to compile an invite list to your new home.

    Best of luck to you, Kevin.

  11. Stephanie Allen says:

    Aww…dude…that sucks, man. You lost some teeth, had to be stitched, had to pay the guy who fixed all that and then your employer bails on you. That is way un-good. So sorry to hear of your plight. But I hear Swingline started producing red staplers that you can order online.

    Being the cool cat you are you’ll land on your feet, and when you do let us know where so we can follow you. ;)

  12. I appreciate your honesty, Kevin, and I don’t think that you should be embarrassed at all–I think the folks at Writer’s Digest should be REALLY embarrassed, though. Of all the mags/blogs out there, you would think that WD would understand that writers can’t eat if they don’t get paid. Jeesh! Please, let us know where you land. Long distance or not. :)

  13. Kevin Alexander says:

    Thanks for all your support.
    And I feel terribly embarrassed by putting it all out there… but I’m conflicted about it, and mostly only because I care about my readership, so I thought it was fair if I just told you what was going on, and we’d see how it will play out…

    Anyway, if i do leave here, I will most likely land somewhere else with the blogging, and I will do my best to keep you informed of that locale, so we can still be together, even if it’s long distance…

  14. Cindy A says:

    Ditto for me. I’ve never commented here but always read your posts and have missed them. My favorite thing in Writers’ Digest was your witty column and it’s gone. Hope your blog will not be the next casualty.

  15. Kevin-

    I’m so sorry to hear about your teeth and your stitches! I hope that you’re OK. Also, I WAS missing your posts terribly–checking every day or so to see if there was a new installment. Even though I don’t remark often, I read your blog all of the time. I hope that if you can’t write this one anymore, you’ll start one of your own that we can read. I totally understand you not wanting to write if you’re not getting paid, and I’m a little shocked that you’re not getting your checks from Writer’s Digest. What’s up with that?!? Please keep us in the loop as to your whereabouts. I really enjoy reading what’s on your mind. Thanks for being honest, too, about what’s going on…

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