The idea of meta is the whole idea of thinking about the fact that you’re thinking about something. It means “about its own category.” So what I do, because I write about writing, is pretty damn meta. But, apparently, not nearly meta enough. Because right now I’m– as we mutually connect via the Webz– doing a rewrite of my Boston Globe Magazine piece, and I kind of think it’d be a good idea to keep writing the blog as I’m editing and rewriting, keeping a commentary of those changes. I have no idea why I want to do it, but did Columbus have any idea what he was doing when he convinced the Spanish Queen or King or whomever to let him sail to India via a shortcut? Of course not. But Columbus was kind of a d**k like that.
Let’s get to it:
First issue– I’ve been looking for another word for flower for the past half hour. Nothing seems to do it, though. Inflorescence doesn’t really work. Perennial, annual, blossom, bud, vine– Jeez, Thesaurus.com– have you no good word for me to work with?
Second Issue– How much of this flower buyer’s bio do I put in right here? I’m already way over on my word count, but someone needs to know that this Dutch dude wrote a complete and detailed guide to everything about the cultivation of roses for his “masterpiece”, as he calls it. Well… I guess you guys know now. Spread the word!
Third Issue– I just spent twenty minutes actively looking for ways to talk more about myself in the piece. I guess that’s not an issue, more like a statement.
Fourth Issue– I need to discuss “the hierarchy” of the company, and do it in the context of how the offices are set up in the design studio. Yeah, I know, I don’t know what that really means either! I think a few more well placed “I observed”s will safely put that issue to rest.
Fifth Issue– I need to describe something that happened in Holland, that I didn’t actually see with my own eyes, and only heard about through lots of questions from a guy who speaks great English, but, you know, sometimes uses terms that confuse me, like “masterpiece” when he probably means “thesis”. I’m also not sure I’m confident that the farmer in questions name is Gerard.
Fifth Issue, resolved– It is Gerard!
Sixth Issue — The hed and the dek (two more termz!) need work. The hed is the title and the dek is essentially a few lines explaining the essence of the story– and both sound like they’re blurbing a Lifetime movie, as they stand right now, which is unacceptable because I fancy myself edgy!!
I still have no ideas, even after spending 15 minutes looking through a Rhyming Dictionary. I instant message with the Big Cat and he comes back with: “The Leaning Flower of Pisa??” I immediately sign off.
Ok, I’m giving up. I need to sleep. So if anyone has any ideas about what I should title a piece that involves a flower traveling across the Atlantic, and being followed all through its entire life — send your comment to my pager, and be sure and put in 911, so that I know it’s important when I’m calling you back from my payphone.
Significantly less cracked out posts to follow.