Here’s my attempt:

“appearances”

not everyone’s who they appear
even nice folks should draw near
for i once knew a minister
who was rather sinister
dripping hot wax in our ears

*****

Follow me on Twitter @robertleebrewer

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*****

Check out other poetic posts:

• Finding Success as a Poet.
• Wednesday Poetry Prompts: 223.
• Deborah Hauser: Poet Interview.

—by Pat Fagan

Bernbach sparked a creative revolution in the ’60s by promoting a product’s warts. The Volkswagen was an ugly little foreign car that was small and bug-like for good reason: better fuel economy than America’s gas-guzzlers; simple to maintain; easier to park on crowded streets. Detroit laughed off the VW: “Americans only want big American-made cars.” Who’s laughing now?

Levenson regarded mental block as nothing more than spending too much time going in the same direction. His solution: Turn around and go the other way. If writing something humorous fails, use a serious approach. If a short headline doesn’t work, try a long one.

Schlitz ranked fifth in beer sales when Hopkins was hired in 1907 to keep the brand from going under. During a tour of the brewery, he noticed that all of the used bottles were cleaned with live steam for purity. Every brewery cleaned their bottles the same way, but the beer-buying public had never been told. “Live steam” became the heart of Hopkins’ campaign, and within months, Schlitz was closing in on No. 1.

Kastin hated pretentious copy and scoffed at anyone he thought was “trying to sound like Faulkner.” Ad writing should be minimalist. Consumers want immediate information, efficiently stated and delivered dramatically. Hemingway wrote ad copy for a short time. Enough said.

Caples, another Hall of Fame copywriter, said the surest way to draw people into your ad is to let them know you are talking directly to them. Make your headline personal. Write eye-to-eye. The word you does that.

If you’re having trouble coming up with the perfect headline, write the body copy first. Later, go back and read what you wrote as if you were a consumer seeing it for the first time. Somewhere, buried in all that copy, you will find your headline. Don’t ask me why it works … it just does.

Many brand managers would be happy if you just relayed their research point-for-point in your copy. If the ad fails, they can shift the blame: “Not my fault—the research said it.” Sharpe, the best account exec I ever worked with, understood that research is only the foundation. An architect designs the house.

Feeney’s reference to the Titanic had personal significance—he launched his career as a newspaper reporter only weeks after the “unsinkable” sunk—but the truism applies to copywriting. When crafting your headline, lead with the single most important point. Ignore the all-too-common client requests to cram as much info as possible into the headline. Their reasoning: “But what if no one reads the body copy?” The truth: If you cannot make one compelling point in your headline, you guarantee the body copy will go unread.

************
Follow me on Twitter: @BrianKlems
Check out my humor book, Oh Boy, You’re Having a Girl.
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Post your response (500 words or fewer) in the comments below.

Want more creative writing prompts? Consider:
The Writer’s Book of Matches

I say approach the project with the sense that you’re doing it for fun, for the experience, and if greatness befalls that little book-o-yours, all the better. As the New York lotto jingle goes, “Hey, you never know.”

Here are a few tips I picked up along the way to help you prime your book for the best possible chance for success. These tips will focus more on the putting-together aspect of the self-publishing process. I’ll have more tips on what to do once you made your book in Part Three (coming soon).

Money In, Not Money Out (aka, POD is Your Friend)

Print on Demand (POD) has always been the way to go when it comes to self-publishing, in my opinion. Sure, if you have an extra five grand in the swear jar on top of your fridge, then go for the other options where you pay a lump sum up front and a publisher will edit, design, distribute, and maybe even market your book for you. But I don’t personally know a single soul who has that extra cash, so the various POD options where you still have to pony up a little money for things like ISBNs (POD publishers offer some inexpensive choices here) and proof copies is a far less expensive route for everyone involved.

Work in Your Trim Size

When you submit your book to the POD publisher (if that’s your choice), you’ll need to submit the Word document pre-seized to match your future book’s trim size (6 x 9, 5.25 x 8, etc.). You can adjust this by clicking File then Page Setup. You’ll have to adjust all margins and gutters to meet the different requirements requested by the publisher, too. Do this the very first time you compile all of your poems, short stories, essays, or whatever and work in that trim size for the rest of the project. Altering the size and margins means everything shifts in funky ways, and you want to clean that up on the outset.

Set Your Table (of Contents) With the Fine China

Your book needs a TOC, and it better not look half-baked by trying to format one manually. They’re pretty simple to insert. In Word, click on Insert, then Index and Tables, and you’ll be able to set one up. Be sure your cursor is on the page where you want it to appear. Also, for each heading and subheading you want in your TOC, you’ll have to go through your book, highlight the chapter header with the cursor, and change that style to “Heading 1” or “Heading 2” for subheads in the TOC, etc. You may need to manually change the font and size of the chapter title back to match the rest of your book, but as long as you tagged it as a Heading, it will appear when you create your TOC. If you get confused, Google “How to Create a TOC in Word.” Google knows all. Even the NSA knows that.

Get Cozy with PDFs

You may need to convert your files to a PDF at some point (do this at the very end). Newer versions of Word will allow you to do this, but some older ones are a little cranky. There are some sites online that offer to convert them, but I found the easiest thing is to download Apache OpenOffice. It reads a wide variety of Word-like programs and lets you convert them into any of the others, PDFs, JPEGS, etc., with just a click. But always review a document after you convert it. Things always shift. Always.

Get Thee to a Gallery

Hiring an artist to design your cover is wise, but it can be expensive. Designing it yourself from scratch is tricky unless you’re a Photoshop and InDesign pro. And even then, it can come out looking like a mes. If you don’t know what you’re doing, seek help, ask students in a local art or design program, ask other writer friends, or at least don’t start from scratch.

I personally know enough of each program to get by, but I always buy a piece of art to work from. For my latest collection of short stories (The Cards We Keep) I wanted a playing card themed cover and looked through artwork at both Saatchi Online (for fine artists) and deviantART (for more illustrative and graphic design stylings). That’s where I found Emmanuel Jose, who creates his own custom playing cards and posts images of them online. I saw one I liked, emailed him, we worked out a simple one-time use contract for the image for cash and copies, and presto, I had a cover I loved that I added some text to in Photoshop to complete the image. Check out those art sites and see if there’s an artist who speaks to what you’re writing about. Reach out and see where it goes. And always offer to pay. Artists need to eat, too.

Careful With That Template, Eugene

Any Pink Floyd fans out there? Yes, no? Anyway, much like the song, trying to upload your cover to a publisher can quickly turn into a nightmare scenario. I tried uploading a cover I created and every thumbnail, digital proof, and printed proof came out off-center and cockeyed. After following differing guidelines on cover creation at one POD website and getting zero technical help from their customer service center, I decided to stop trying to go it alone and I used their online template designer.

If you start your cover from scratch using just their templates, your book will look generic. If you’ve created some files using artwork and design software at home, you should be able to find the one “blank” template they’ll have hidden in their assortment of styles. Use that, upload your art, make the necessary tweaks, and that should be the easiest route to get what you were hoping for. Once I did that, my cover was centered and clear. If I did that starting out, it would have saved me weeks of work.

Assemble Your Cabinet of Rivals

Ok, “rivals” might be a strong word, but this tip is common sense. Before you click that pretty green “Publish Now” button, make sure you had a few rounds of reviews. Hire someone (or ask someone you trust) to read it just for content. Do the poems make people want to jump off a bridge? Do your stories lack punch? Is the dialogue shaky? Is your memoir jumbled and confusing? Get someone who will tell you what is wrong, not what is right. Don’t look for a pat on the back, look for a kick in the butt. You want this to be perfect, so fix those faults.

Next, hire someone to proofread the book. Don’t do this yourself. Writers never ever ever catch all of their own mistakes. Specifically ask this person to just look for typos and punctuation. The nuts and bolts. And ask someone who actually knows what those nuts and bolts look like. Your aunt who reads a lot but really has no proofreading training won’t cut it. Neither will your son who is an English lit major at UCLA. That’s all fine and good that they want to help, but you need someone who has some proofreading battle scars. This is war, and you want Rambo riding shotgun, not Beetle Bailey.

You can do a last pass yourself, especially if you haven’t read the book in a while. Don’t change much at this point, unless you want to start the proofing process over again, but make sure you’re in love with the book before you say your final “I Do.”

Have any other technical tips to share? Add them below! In Part Three, I’ll speak a little bit to the various things you can do after you have copies of your self-published book in hand. And more specifically, things you should have done before that point to help you make your book a success.

—

James Duncan is a content editor for Writer’s Digest. He is also the founding editor of Hobo Camp Review, poetry & prose from the road, and is in the process of self-publishing while seeking traditional representation, just like everyone else on the planet. For more of his work, visit www.jameshduncan.blogspot.com.

About Roz: Roz Foster is an associate agent, rights assistant, and talent scout for the Dijkstra Agency. She has a B.A. in English Literature from UC San Diego, studied philosophy for a year at the University of Sheffield, U.K., and earned her M.A. in English, with an emphasis in composition & rhetoric and creative writing, from Portland State University. At PSU, she taught writing in exchange for tuition. She’s been learning French since 2009. Roz spent over five years as a qualitative researcher in high-tech consumer products marketing. In 2008, she co-founded a web design company for which she provided non-profit organizations with audience-focused market research, project planning, and digital design. She joined SDLA in 2013.

She is seeking: Roz is interested in literary and commercial fiction, women’s fiction, literary sci-fi, and literary YA. She loves novels that make her feel like the author is tuned into a rising revolution — cultural, political, literary, or whatnot — that’s about to burst on the scene. She looks for a resonant, lively voice; rich, irresistible language; complex characters with compelling development arcs; and a mastery of dramatic structure. Roz is also interested in non-fiction in the areas of current affairs, design, business, cultural anthropology/social science, politics, psychology and memoir. Here, she looks for driven, narrative storytelling and sharp concepts that have the potential to transcend their primary audience.

Please note that Roz is specifically not interested in: sports, cookbooks, screenplays, poetry, romance, and children’s middle-grade/picture books.

How to contact: E-query roz [at] dijkstraagency.com. “We read all query letters. However, because of the high volume of unsolicited submissions we receive, we are only able to respond to those queries in which we are interested. If you have not heard back from us six weeks after sending your letter, you may assume that we have passed.” Please send a query letter, a 1-page synopsis, a brief bio (including a description of your publishing history), and the first 10-15 pages of your manuscript. Please send all items in the body of the email, not as an attachment.

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Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:

• Agent Jody Klein of Brandt & Hochman Seeks Clients NOW.
• Advice on Writing a Query Letter to Agents.
• Why Accepting Edits to Your Work is NOT Selling Out.
• Writer Dennis Mahoney Explains How He Signed With Agent Jim Rutman of SLL.
• Sell More Books by Building Your Writer Platform.
• Follow Chuck Sambuchino on Twitter or find him on Facebook. Learn all about his writing guides on how to get published, how to find a literary agent, and how to write a query letter.

Want to build your visibility and sell more books?
Create Your Writer Platform shows you how to
promote yourself and your books through social
media, public speaking, article writing, branding,
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In this popular, intensive webinar, “The Art of Revision: Perfecting Your Book For Submission,” literary agent Michelle Brower will answer these questions and more. The event happens at 1 p.m., Thursday, June 20, 2013, and lasts 90 minutes. All attendees will get a personal critique from Michelle. You can submit either a one-page synopsis or the first two double-spaced pages of your novel. (Remember that several agents — including Barbara Poelle, Louise Fury and Kathleen Ortiz — have signed writers after critiquing their work through a WD webinar.)

ABOUT THE CRITIQUE

You are invited to submit the first two double-spaced pages of your novel OR a one page plot summary/synopsis. All submissions are guaranteed a written critique by Michelle Brower within 60 days of receipt. If she deems your submission excellent, Michelle reserves the right to request more writing from you. Instructions on how to submit your work are sent after you officially register. Sign up for the webinar here.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

• How to developmentally edit for concept, structure, characters, and more
• How to line edit for elegant, powerful sentences
• Tips and tricks from authors who have successfully navigated the submission process
• How to edit so that your book is most likely to appeal to today’s agents and editors
• How to find and incorporate feedback from the right readers

INSTRUCTOR

Michelle Brower began her career in publishing in 2004 while studying for her Master’s degree in English Literature at New York University, and has been hooked ever since. During that time, she assisted the agents Wendy Sherman and Joelle Delbourgo, and found herself in love with the process of discovering new writers and helping existing writers further their careers. After graduating, she became an agent with Wendy Sherman Associates, and there began representing books in many different areas of fiction and nonfiction. In 2009, she joined Folio Literary Management (foliolit.com). She enjoys digging into a manuscript and working with authors to make their project as saleable as it can be, and her list includes the authors S.G. Browne, Rebecca Rasmussen, Jason Mott, and Michele Young-Stone, among many others.

Sign up for the webinar here!

Jesse Klausmeier is the author of the debut picture book, OPEN THIS LITTLE BOOK, illustrated by Suzy Lee, which was named an Amazon Top Pick for January 2013, and received a starred review in Kirkus Reviews, as well as many other very positive reviews. Find her on Twitter.

Jesse was born and raised in Madison, WI. The daughter of two teachers, Jesse has been reading and writing stories for as long as she can remember. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin – Madison, Jesse worked at Nickelodeon Animation Studios, and most recently was an assistant editor at Penguin Group’s, Dial Books for Young Readers. She lives in Madison, WI.

What is the book’s genre/category?

Picture book. OPEN THIS LITTLE BOOK is my debut.

Please describe what the story/book is about.

OPEN THIS LITTLE BOOK is my love letter to books; a conceptual and interactive book that takes readers on an unexpected journey of friendship and celebrates the love of reading.

Where do you write from?

When I wrote the manuscript I lived in Los Angeles. I edited the manuscript in NYC, and now I’m living in my hometown of Madison, WI. So, I write wherever I am.

Briefly, what led up to this book?

I’ve been writing ever since I could hold a pencil. As an adult, I worked for a small independent production studio and wrote and/or edited TV series treatments for network pitches, and copy for commercials, infomercials, and instructional/corporate videos. Later, at Nickelodeon, I worked on promos and series launches for their animated shows. I’ve always loved children’s literature, so I joined the Society of Children’s Book Authors and Illustrators (SCBWI) and that group played an instrumental role in me finding my publisher and my agent.

(Tips on How to Write a Query Letter.)

What was the time frame for writing this book?

I first had the idea of a book about books-inside-of-books when I was five years old. My grandma mocked up a book for me, and I started writing and drawing. About 4 pages in, I got distracted and quit, and totally forgot about the project.

The idea of books within books stuck with me though, and I wrote the first draft of Open This Little Book 20 years later. It wasn’t until recently that I found the book my grandma made, and realized how long I’ve had this concept percolating in my head. Now, 25 years after I made that first little book, I’m so happy to be able to show young readers that their ideas are important, and their books could get published, too.

How did you find your agent (and who is your agent)?

I met my agent, Steve Fraser, with the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency at a SCBWI writing retreat in Encino, CA. He enjoyed one of my picture book manuscripts and asked if I’d consider making a few changes. I did, and then submitted it to him. Although he was impressed with my revision, at that time, he wasn’t taking on new picture book clients at that time, so he passed. A year later, at that very same SCBWI writing retreat, I shared another manuscript (Open This Little Book) with editor, Victoria Rock from Chronicle, who ended up acquiring it. When Victoria expressed interest, I got back in touch with Steve and he signed me on. Thanks SCBWI!

(Learn about another writing retreat in Europe.)

What were your 1-2 biggest learning experience(s) or surprise(s) throughout the publishing process?

I had no concept of the amount of time it took from acquisition to publication for a picture book. I sold the manuscript at the end of 2008 and it came out in January 2013. But it makes sense. The timing has to be right for the publisher, author, illustrator, and the market. As a debut author, being paired with a powerhouse like Suzy Lee, and working with Chronicle has been an absolute dream come true.

Looking back, what did you do right that helped you break in?

I think the best things I did were becoming an active member of SCBWI, getting the annual Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market books, and really committing to learning the craft of writing for children. I read and studied hundreds of picture books, and because of that, I was able to identify the niche for a conceptual book like Open This Little Book that hadn’t yet been filled. Then, I was able to target the publisher I thought was the best fit for the book.

On that note, what would you have done differently if you could do it again?

If I could do it again, I’d tell myself not to worry about having a perfect first draft. This held up my writing for a long time, and I still struggle with it from time to time. It wasn’t until I started naming my first drafts, “crap drafts,” that I allowed myself the freedom to play. To know that in the next draft, I may change the main character, the POV, the tense, or go off and explore a completely new plot thread is absolutely freeing.

Did you have a platform in place? On this topic, what are you doing the build a platform and gain readership?

I’m on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/jmklausmeier), Twitter (@jesseklausmeier), Pinterest (https://pinterest.com/jesseklausmeier), and try to interact with people on all platforms. I love to shout out other people’s good news and share articles, photos, and other tidbits I think my community will enjoy. If my book appears in a blog post, I make sure to comment and shout out the blog on FB and Twitter. I also tag any other people that were mentioned in the post. I find this builds great community, and enhances the feeling that we’re all in this together.

(Learn how to create a writer blog.)

Website(s)?

http://www.jesseklausmeier.com/

What’s next?

I have several manuscripts in various stages of completion that I’m excited about. I’m also working with teachers to develop practical resources for the classroom that feature children’s books, while meeting Common Core State Standards’ goals.

Writing books for kids? There are
hundreds of publishers, agents and
other markets listed in the latest
Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market.
Buy it here online at a discount.

Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:

• The Differences Between Young Adult and Middle Grade Fiction.
• “How I Got My Agent,” by Middle Grade Author Allan Woodrow.
• A Young Adult Query That Worked — See It Here.
• 6 Tips on Writing Picture Books (That Just May Warm Your Heart).
• Literary Agent Interview: Quinlan Lee of Adams Literary.
• Sell More Books by Building Your Author Platform.
• Follow Chuck Sambuchino on Twitter or find him on Facebook. Learn all about his writing guides on how to get published, how to find a literary agent, and how to write a query letter.

If you’re writing a picture book for kids and
looking to get it published, let us help you!
The Writer’s Digest 2nd Draft service has
professionals who edit picture books to make
sure your work is as good as it can be
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The following is a guest post from

*

I arrived at Ragdale House on a sunny June morning in my rusty Saab. I’d packed my laptop, printer, notes, manuscript, suitcase, peanut butter crackers and a bottle of Glenlivet. I had abandoned my MFA thesis and was at work on a new project, a novel centered on the decline of a New England mill town. I had applied for a two-week residency at Ragdale the previous January for one simple reason: I needed time to write. Work and day-to-day life didn’t allow me long stretches at my desk, so I was forced to carve out time at the margins. Sound familiar?

Writing retreats, or colonies, have been around for a long time. There are hundreds of residency programs operating today, catering to many disciplines. The locations and programs vary, but here’s the gist: Each affords artists extended creative time to make their art. Each offers basic amenities and a work space. They are places to unplug and tune in without the distractions of daily life. Read the Acknowledgments pages of a dozen books, and at least half the authors will thank retreats like Yaddo, Provincetown, Art Farm, Anderson or Hedgebrook.

“We don’t have print studios and ceramics studios and painting studios. We just have spaces,” says Ragdale’s executive director, Jeffrey Meeuwsen. “I think for people coming to Ragdale, there is that opportunity for it to morph into what they need without being complicated and without a lot of interference. There is something about that neutral space that I think is really important for creative work.”

I chose to apply to Ragdale based on recommendations from fellow writers, the cost and its proximity to Chicago, where I was living at the time. They also offered two-week residencies (which have since been extended), and that appealed, because I couldn’t play hooky from life for much longer than that. The subsidized cost has increased by $10 since I was a resident; it’s a whopping $35 a day now. I had known about Ragdale for years, but I waited till I had a critical mass and momentum to apply. Meeuwsen believes applicants should be serious about maximizing their creative time.

The Ragdale application asks potential participants to write an artist statement and work plan. As a rule of thumb, if you can’t confidently answer and complete this section, you might not be ready for a residency. Meeuwsen says, “Ideally you would come in with a plan that says, ‘This is what I am trying to accomplish,’ so that jurors have a sense that not only are you serious about the work, and you are really committed to taking that leap, but that you are really going to use the time effectively, because it may often be that there are dozens of equally capable, equally credentialed people applying at the same time.”

The application also requires letters of recommendation that attest to the applicant’s commitment to their art and ability to work independently—and not steal all the flatware. In other words, these recs are part artist endorsement, part crazy filter.

Like many residents, I was amazed by my productivity. It took me two days to get into a routine, and—this is important—when I visited, the Internet and smartphones had not yet conquered society. Google was not yet a verb.

“There are many reasons, many great reasons to go to a colony, and many indulgent reasons to go to a colony,” says writer Jane Hamilton. “When I started out writing there was no email, there was no, you know … we didn’t have computers. It sounds medieval. But now we have to work a little harder to cut ourselves off from all the noise that is just so seductive and distracting. So that’s a great big reason to go to a colony in the middle of nowhere that’s not quite on the grid.”

Hamilton’s favorite colony is Hedgebrook Foundation on Whidbey Island in Washington State. “At Hedgebrook there is no Internet in the little Hobbity huts you get to stay in, so even if you were distracted, wanted to distract yourself, you really can’t. So, you are in a self-imposed exile, and that’s a beautiful thing.”

The Times book review ran an essay by Alex Mar on retreats and the Internet called “One Hundred Seconds of Solitude.” He quotes Junot Díaz on the dire consequences of the digital distractions we carry in our pockets. “I calculate that if I keep this Internet crap up for another three decades,” Díaz said, “I’ll lose roughly a novel and a half to my Internet distractions. That ain’t cute.”

Of course, we have to draw a distinction between watching Hobbs the surfing cat and doing research on the New Bedford whaling for a novel or nonfiction project. The key is to eliminate distractions and procrastination triggers. Luckily for many writers, the old standby of doing housework to avoid writing won’t fly at a colony. (They don’t allow residents to bring their own vacuums.)

A key distinction between colonies and writing conferences is the lack of emphasis on feedback. At the colony, you are on your own to practice your craft. The group is not there to support you. I’ve been to two retreats, and each time a fellow writer asked me if I wanted to exchange work and offer critiques. I said no. That wasn’t why I had come. I had a writing group in Chicago. The novel had been swirling around in my head for years. I needed time to write.

“People are coming here and working 24/7 for 18 days. I find it amazing,” Meeuwsen says. “I can’t think of another profession where people are so dedicated that they will not only commit to what may be a difficult life, where you may not ever make it big, and you may not ever be really wealthy, but you are doing it for the passion. I think that that is incredible. It also speaks to the passion and the need for places like Ragdale.”

Hamilton adds that another reason to go is simply the basics: peace, quiet, time. Moreover, “If you are a young person and don’t have a lot of writer friends, it’s a way to meet people who will be your lifelong readers. You tend to go and find at least one or two or three like-minded people who you take home with you.”

Any reputable colony will have an excellent website detailing their routine, application process, scholarships, special needs and so on. Many magazines do lists of annual retreats and colonies.

When you get your chance, remember to focus on the work first. Many of us only get one or two shots at a retreat, so be patient, and when the work is ready to be taken to that next level, do your research and plan in advance for an experience that will alter the trajectory of your writing career.

—Jotham Burrello is the publisher of Elephant Rock Books and the author of the forthcoming e-book Guide to a Successful Writing Life (fall 2013), which is designed to assist writers in developing a meaningful career. The book will feature text and video clips on agents, manuscript consultants, MFA programs, licensed properties, genre markets and more. Burrello teaches at Columbia College Chicago, where he directs the Publishing Lab, and at the Yale Summer Writing Conference.

You’ve Got a Book in You by Elizabeth Sims

Are you writing a book or novel for the first time? Chances are you probably have (or have had) a bout of insecurity, fear of failure, or worry about making it perfect. But you don’t have to let all of those feelings take hold of you and cripple your ability to write. In fact, You’ve Got a Book in You is filled with friendly, funny, telling-it-to-you-straight chapters that teach you how to relinquish your worries and write freely. With this book, you’ll get tips, advice and exercises geared toward helping you gain the skills and best practices needed to finish a novel.

Shoshanna Evers is a critically-acclaimed author who has written
dozens of sexy stories, including Amazon Erotica Bestsellers OVERHEATED,
and ENSLAVED, Book 1 in the Enslaved Trilogy from Simon & Schuster’s
Pocket Star imprint. Her work has been featured in Best Bondage Erotica 2012
and Best Bondage Erotica 2013, the Penguin/Berkley Heat anthology
Agony/Ecstasy, and numerous erotic BDSM novellas including Chastity Belt
and Punishing the Art Thief from Ellora’s Cave Publishing. The
nonfiction anthology Shoshanna Evers edited and contributed to,
How To Write Hot Sex: Tips from Multi-Published Erotic Romance Authors,
is a #1 Bestseller in the Authorship, Erotica Writing Reference, and
Romance Writing categories. Shoshanna is a New York native who
now lives with her family and two big dogs in Los Angeles, California.
She loves to interact on Twitter and Facebook.

Our Meeting at the New Jersey RWA

I’ve always loved hearing about how authors found their agents. This is my story. In late 2011, I went to a New Jersey RWA meeting where they were having a panel of agents and editors talking. The whole thing was fascinating, and I ended up being late to the group buffet lunch that they had going on after.

By the time I got downstairs, every table was full, except for one seat next the lovely Courtney Miller-Callihan of Sanford J Greenburger Associates. So we spent lunch chatting about our toddlers, etc., and at the end of the day I asked if I could query her. No pitch, just if she wouldn’t mind if I emailed her a pitch.

The next day she requested the full and followed me on Twitter. A few weeks went by, and she @-replied me on Twitter saying she was loving my manuscript and would get back to me ASAP.

I called all my friends and asked what they thought ASAP meant in literary-agent speak. Ten seconds? Ten days? Ten weeks?

A couple weeks later she emailed to set up a time to call, but there was no offer or anything, so I still wasn’t sure what that meant…

I told her I’d be signing cover flats at the Ellora’s Cave booth at BEA 2011 the following day if she wanted to stop by and say hi. She did, but neither of us had time to chat since she was busy being an agent and I was busy being an author. So when I was done signing, we went and got lunch and talked about the toddlers again and then SHE OFFERED TO REPRESENT MY BOOK! And that’s how it went.

I was thrilled, naturally. Still thrilled! The cool update is that Courtney sold the book she acquired as part of a six book deal to Simon & Schuster Pocket Star. The Enslaved Trilogy and the upcoming Pulse Trilogy.

(Why agents stop reading your first chapter.)

My Original Query Letter:

I’m going to put my own notes to you guys in bold italics so you can see why I wrote what I did.

Dear Courtney Miller-Callihan: Spell the name right, use the whole name. This isn’t time to be cutesy or unprofessional!

It was great meeting you on Saturday at the NJ RWA agent/editor panel. I enjoyed chatting with you at lunch I remind her where we met, which helps make the query more personal. I have a manuscript I’m seeking representation for, if you’re interested in seeing it I’d be happy to email you a copy (and I’ll make sure it’s *not* in Courier New). This is a joke, since Courtney made a comment on the panel about hating to read in the Courier New font. I’m showing her I’m friendly and that I was listening. But when in doubt, don’t joke, because it won’t always sound right.

THE PULSE is a completed 76,000-word romance set in post-apocalyptic New York City. I told her the name of the manuscript, the approximate computer word count, the genre, and that it’s complete.

It’s been one year since an electromagnetic pulse destroyed America’s infrastructure and took down the power grid, throwing the country into a new Dark Age. This first sentence is designed to draw her in and get her excited to hear about the book. Then I go into the blurb, which should sound a bit like back-cover copy. I cut the two-paragraph pitch to save space here, but later Courtney used that pitch to sell it!

This is the first book in a potential series. Notice I’m not trying to pitch more than one book at a time to her. I just mention that it could be a series. Sure enough, after I signed with her, she requested a synopsis of the entire Pulse Trilogy.

I write erotic romance under the pen name Shoshanna Evers. Here I listed the publishing credits I had at the time—a few small-press books and one anthology with a NY pub. I’m happy to say that I can now add about another two dozen books and anthologies with a bunch more on the way. It’s been a busy few years.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I’m glad we got a chance to meet in person

Sincerely,

Shoshanna Evers And that’s it. I ended it by thanking her, and closed professionally (if you consider a smiley emoticon professional, which I do).

So…I hope the query letter helped some of you are crafting your own queries. Yes, I had been published already before I started querying (which just goes to show you don’t necessarily need an agent to get published in the first place), but the fact is that she wouldn’t have taken me on if she didn’t think she could sell the book. Which means if you have an awesome book, even if you aren’t yet published, you can probably get an agent for it. Best of luck!

What could be better than one guide on crafting
fiction from wise agent Donald Maass? Two books!
We bundle them together at a discount in our shop.

Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:

• Query Letter Writing Guidelines.
• New Literary Agent Seeking Clients: Pooja Menon of Kimberley Cameron & Associates.
• 5 Things Agents Can Do to Make Writers’ Lives Easier
• From Self-Published Memoir to Traditional Book Deal.
• Sell More Books by Building Your Writer Platform.
• Follow Chuck Sambuchino on Twitter or find him on Facebook. Learn all about his writing guides on how to get published, how to find a literary agent, and how to write a query letter.

Want to build your visibility and sell more books?
Create Your Writer Platform shows you how to
promote yourself and your books through social
media, public speaking, article writing, branding,
and more. Order the book from WD at a discount.

I would chalk it up to some random nut, except that I met with the same kind of attacks a few years ago when I was nominated for and then voted Poet Laureate of the Blogosphere. And I see it consistently from a distance with any poet that seems to get the smallest nugget of success thrown their way. In fact, the person today kept throwing out the term “success” in relation to my poetry (both in the public thread and in private DMs) as his reason for attacking me.

Mean people suck, but I’m not going to devote a blog post to that (at least, not on this blog). The more important question for me has become, What does finding success as a poet mean?

What Constitutes Poetic Success?

As the editor of Writer’s Market, I know there are any manner of quantifiable ways to measure success for writers. Those include:

• Publication Credits
• Money
• Fame
• Artistic Achievement
• Immortality

I’m sure there are others, but these are some of the biggies. Let’s take a look at each one in relation to poets finding success.

Publication

Being published is nice. I’m grateful to every person who’s put time and effort into publishing my poetry. For all the rejection that occurs in submitting poetry, it’s a great feeling when I find an editor who connects with my poetry enough to publish it.

Plus, it’s a thrill to hear from people who read those published poems and let me know my words stirred something in them. That makes me feel good about taking the time to submit my poetry, but it’s not the reason I write.

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Get your poetry published!

The 2013 Poet’s Market is filled with publishing opportunities, including listings for publishers, journals, contests, and more. Plus, there are articles covering the craft of poetry, business of poetry, promotion of poetry, and actual poems.

Click to continue.

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Money

I can already hear all the laughter from experienced poets, and there’s a reason why. For most poets (myself and the poets I know), there’s not a lot of money in poetry. It’s a simple matter of supply and demand. The supply is incredibly high; the demand is incredibly low.

For my poetry, I’ve only ever been paid for one poem. I received less than $100, which doesn’t pay the bills or feed the kids. So I better not be writing poetry for the money, because I’d probably make more money and have more free time if I invested in lottery tickets.

Fame

Being a famous poet sounds cool, right? Everyone loves you and admires you when you’re a famous, don’t they? I mean, look at Billy Collins. A ton of people love him and his poetry, but…

…but then again, a ton of people hate him and his poetry–partially because he’s famous.

One of my fantastic mistakes as a teenage poet was to submit poems to one of those free poetry contests that offers a monetary prize and publishes all the poems in an anthology. They make a lot of money off poets by charging them to buy the anthology, attend expensive conferences, and even by selling nifty little things like coffee mugs.

Believe me when I say, I don’t write to be a famous poet.

Artistic Achievement

How is this quantified? Through awards and honors maybe? If so, I was nominated and then voted the 2010 Poet Laureate of the Blogosphere. That was a tremendous honor, and it helped open other opportunities for me, but I didn’t change one poem because of the honor.

In fact, I’ve found the same problem with artistic achievement as with fame. If you’ve found success as a language poet, there are going to be poets who tear you down for caring about the language. If you’ve found success as a prose poet, there will be people who tear you down for not breaking lines. If you’ve found success as a traditional poet, there will be people who tear you down for following forms. If you’ve found success as a narrative poet, there will be people who attack you for giving prose line breaks.

For me, I have an artistic vision for my poetry, but I don’t chase honors. I think it’s dangerous in the same way that chasing fame is dangerous. If I win honors in the future, I will be very happy, but awards are not what keep me up writing at night.

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Workshop your poetry!

Get feedback and ideas on how to revise your poems by taking the Advanced Poetry Writing course. Completely online and done on your schedule, this is a great opportunity for poets who are stuck in a rut or who want feedback on poems that are just missing something.

Click to continue.

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Immortality

Here’s the thing about immortality: There’s absolutely no way any poet can control this. It’s something that shakes out over time, and it’s very common for the best known writers of any age to fade into obscurity or footnotes.

Since I’ve come close to dying before, I’d love to be remembered after my death, but I don’t write for immortality. It’s something so far out of my control that I can’t even begin to imagine chasing it.

So Why Would a Poet Write?

There’s nothing wrong with poets who write for the reasons given above. Each poet has their own force driving them, and I’m not in the business of telling people how to live their lives or break their lines. But it’s a question I’ve been wrestling with for years, why do I write poetry? And it’s a question writers in other genres ask me, why do you write poetry?

Maybe the best way for me to answer is by looking at how I got started. I was trying to impress a girl, plain and simple. Then, I kept at it–even after the girl left–because it gave me an outlet and a way to focus on things that were hard to understand: things like being sexually abused as a young boy, depression, anxiety over the future, broken hearts, and the other problems people have to confront every day.

I wrote then, because I had to write. I write now, because I have to write. I know I’ll continue writing poetry into the future, because that need will be there–to make words dance, to vent, to capture a moment, to understand why something is happening.

I am so thankful to everyone who’s ever helped me spread my poetry, but I know I’d continue writing poetry even after the zombie (or any other type of) apocalypse. Because it’s what helps me feel human.

What About Poetic Success?

And maybe that’s where I find the most success as a poet. It’s when I’m able to capture something that feels right to me. Sometimes, it might be capturing a moment or saying it in a way that is interesting to me. I find success (and failure) word-by-word, line-by-line, and day-by-day.

What might feel like success at night might feel like failure in the morning, but there’s always that need to write and search and explore, and there’s nothing anyone else can do to take that feeling away from me.

Why do you write poetry? And how do you measure poetic success? Share your answers in the comments below.

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Follow me on Twitter @robertleebrewer

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Check out other poetic posts:

• Wednesday Poetry Prompts: 223.
• Deborah Hauser: Poet Interview.
• Karen Rigby: Poet Interview.