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 Saturday, June 27, 2009
Best Tweets for Writers (week ending 6/26/09)
Posted by Jane
 I
watch
Twitter, so you don't have to. Visit each Friday or Saturday for the week's best Tweets. (If I missed a great Tweet, leave
it in the Comments, or if you want more of a particular category of Tweet, also comment.) Best of BestWhy New Novelists Are Kinda Old, or, Hey, Publishing is Slow
by @scalzi
@dbschlosser
Book publicist reveals one key thing publishers look for before considering your book
@BookWritingTips
The Seven Deadly Writing Sins
@nicoledenae
Where will we be in five years?
@chipmacgregor
Giving ebooks away for free increases print book sales
@bradvertrees
If you only read one marketing post ever, read this one - 1,000 True Fans by Kevin Kelly
@tferriss
Writing Roads: Authentic Trumps Agreeable
@KFZuzulo
36 Free EBooks for Writers by @PacificBlue
@BookBuzzr
Stand AloneWriting tip 21: Agonize over your 1st story only after you’ve written your 10th, your 10th after your 20th.
@barryintokyo
I have a number of valuable business contacts that I 'found' on Twitter. It is a serious tool in day-to-day business life.
@MichaelHyatt
A poet once said that handwriting connects the pulse of the heart, down the arm, to the fingers, to the pen, to the page. #writechat
@debramarrs
Q. What exactly is a pitch? A. Think of it as back-cover text of your book. Whatzitbout? Whozitfor? Whoyou? Whycare?
@DavidRozansky
No need to note your "copyright" on manuscript. Legally unnecessary (is © as soon as you write it down) and looks amateurish.
@papertyger
No need to "design" your manuscript w/clip art & unusual fonts. The point is the text, not a fancy title page.
@papertyger
Overheard: Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging together: "YouTwitFace.com"
@human3rror
"If you want to build an online community it can't be about you." Says @calilewis
@ThomasUmstattd
Best of Twitter
Saturday, June 27, 2009 6:29:05 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  Trackback
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Friday, June 26, 2009
Better Than Brad Pitt? (Why You Should Go to Book Events)
Posted by Jane
Today's guest post is from becoming-a-regular-and-fabulous-contributor Darrelyn Saloom. Above she is shown with Tim Gautreaux, the recipient of the 2009
Louisiana Writer Award and author of three novels and two story collections.
The picture was taken at Garden District Book Shop in New Orleans. Follow Darrelyn on Twitter.
A book event! Authors read from their latest masterpiece, sign copies, and, if you’re lucky, share stories of their writing journey. Maybe an author will reveal how he/she found the plot (in a newspaper), the characters (popped into their head), or even the theme (a song on the radio).
It’s easy to project grandiosity on an admired author. Born to brilliance, for them it comes easy. Such a perfect sentence, and look at that verb. Oh the ease!—the ease from which he/she writes—larger than life, and so much smarter than me.
That’s what I tend to think of writers I admire. And that’s what I thought of Tim Gautreaux. My friends knew this about me. I drove around with his books in my car. Recommended his short story collections and novels to strangers in airports and on the streets (yeah, that was me). So I was thrilled when Garden District Book Shop in New Orleans sent me an e-mail to announce his scheduled book signing.
The day of the event, I checked into Hotel Monteleone and found my way to Prytania Street. The bookstore had a small coffee shop to the side of the building, and I spotted Gautreaux and his lovely wife, Winborne, sipping coffee in a window seat. And, yes, I was nervous. This was better than a French Quarter Brad Pitt sighting for me.
The Louisiana native did not disappoint. With Cajun accent he read from his latest novel The Missing. And then he talked about his writing process. The audience sipped wine, nibbled cheese, and asked questions. And his answers were generous.
Generous because his stories were often rejected by editors—yes—rejected! And he told us that red marks mapped the pages of his returned manuscripts! But here was the key (and what I believe separates a talented writer from becoming a published author—or not).
When Tim Gautreaux’s stories and manuscripts landed back in his mailbox, he read suggestions and criticisms with an open mind. He explained how he’d carefully tear apart a rejected story, rewrite and revise it, put it back together, and send it out again. And again. And again, if necessary. Until he got it right.
If you’ve read Gautreaux’s novels and stories, you know he’s a man obsessed with machines. His characters are camera repairmen, piano tuners, welders, train engineers, and a priest. Okay, so maybe a priest has nothing to do with machinery, but there’s an old Toronado in the story with a “huge eight-cylinder engine and no muffler.”
Tinkering is Tim Gautreaux’s lifelong hobby. He told us about the barn in his backyard in Hammond, Louisiana; and about his collection of antique steamboat whistles, lanterns, and gauges, an amusement that seeped into his novel, The Missing.
“Find what you love,” he said, “and write about it.” What Tim Gautreaux loves has served him well. Tinkering with machinery seems to have taught him the patience to be a writer. To construct something, to take it apart (piece by piece), and then to build it again is not easy. It’s hard work. And it’s akin to writing a poem, a story, a novel. It took him nearly five years to write The Missing.
There are other reasons to attend a book signing: to support a fellow writer, a favored bookstore, (did I mention they often serve wine and cheese?). But to connect to an admired author, and to share his/her struggles are valuable lessons for an aspiring author. And there really is no excuse not to go. Because—they are free.
(The day I completed this blog post, the June issue of The New Yorker arrived in my mailbox—bearing a stapled gift—a new story by Tim Gautreaux! “Idols” is about Julian Smith. And he is a typewriter repairman. So add typewriter repairman to my earlier list. Follow this link to read Julian’s comical and stubborn journey to defeat.)
Craft & Technique | Getting Published | Guest Post
Friday, June 26, 2009 8:28:41 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Writing Advice Hasn't Changed Much Since 1921
Posted by Jane
On my desk I keep a copy of one of the first Writer's Digest
titles, How to Write Short Stories by L. Josephine Bridgart, published
in 1921. It is a subtle reminder of how little things have changed
when it comes to writing and publishing. Below is an excerpt from the
very first chapter, "Common Sense in Viewing One's Work."
—
Writing
for publication is a business. If the new writer will accept this fact
he will have laid a foundation upon which, if he have the necessary
natural ability, he can build success.
If a young woman tells
you that she intends to take up nursing, and later reveals that her
chief reason for doing so is that the uniforms in a certain hospital
have attracted her, or that she enjoys reading to the sick, or dislikes
the business life her father has suggested for her, or has heard that
nurses make a great deal of money, you immediately feel that her
nursing will not be a great success. You reason that nursing involves
some very hard and disagreeable duties and that a girl who think only
of the incidental pleasures or the monetary rewards is pretty sure to
fail. It is not common business sense to enter a profession without
taking into consideration the requirements of that profession.
I
have read this lack of common business sense between the lines of many
a first story. Some of these stories tell how a young girl with no
experience won a prize in a short story or novel contest; often the
prize-winning story was written in an afternoon, or an evening, or in
the dead of night as the result of an idea which came to the author
after she had retired. Some of these stories are about attractive young
women who sold an editor a manuscript because she was attractive, or
because she was poor, or because she was sick or saucy. Such stories
show plainly that the authors are depending on personal charm or "an
inspiration" or luck rather than upon hard work to win acceptances.
They do not stop to reason that before they can hope to sell a
manuscript they must learn how to produce a manuscript that some editor
will want to buy. …
Unless you respect the principles governing
the construction of a story or an article or a poem you cannot produce
a manuscript that the careful editor will consider worthy of a place in
his magazine. In any other trade or profession, the beginner expects to
encounter a great deal of hard work. He expects to master certain
rules, learn to apply them, and then make himself skillful by practice.
Writing for publication means careful preparation and a great deal of
hard work, just as millinery and surgery and sculpture do.
In
her autobiography Ellen Terry tells of actresses who had explained to
her that they did not care to be hampered by the rules. The successful
actress had replied that it was wise to learn the rules before one
decided to abandon them. "Before you can be eccentric," she commented
pithily, "you must know where the circle is." …
The editor does
not care at all about rules as rules. He wants a manuscript that will
hold his readers' interest. If you can break the rules and still
produce a manuscript that will grip the attention from the first
sentence to the last you need not fear that your irregularities will
cause you a rejection.
Craft & Technique | Fun | General | Getting Published
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 5:36:40 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monthly News From Glimmer Train
Posted by Jane
 Glimmer Train has just chosen the winning stories for their April Family Matters
competition. This competition is held twice a year and is open to all
writers for stories about family, with a word count range 500-12,000. Monthly submission calendar may be viewed here. First place
Randolph Thomas of Baton Rouge, LA (shown right), wins $1200 for
“According to Foxfire”. His story will be published in the Fall 2010
issue of Glimmer Train Stories, out in August 2010.
Second place
Amy S. Gottfried of Thurmont, MD, wins $500 for “Chim
Chiminy”. Her story will also be published in an upcoming issue of Glimmer
Train Stories, increasing her prize to $700.
Third place
Abe Gaustad of Germantown, TN, wins $300 for “A Month of
Rain”. A PDF of the Top 25 winners can be found here.
Deadlines approaching!
Fiction
Open: June 30 This
quarterly competition is open to all writers for stories on any theme, with a
word count range of 2000-20,000. Click here
for complete guidelines.
Best Start: June 30 This
new category is different from their others in that the piece should be an
engaging and coherent narrative, but it does not need to be a complete story;
it needs to be an important part of a story in progress. Only open to
writers whose fiction has not appeared in a nationally distributed print
publication with a circulation over 3000. Maximum word count:
1000. Click here for
complete guidelines.
--
If
you didn't know, Writer's Digest partnered with Glimmer Train to
publish two compilation volumes of the best stuff from their Writers Ask newsletter. Be sure to check them out.  
General | Getting Published
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 5:28:31 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Monday, June 22, 2009
How to Save Time and Money with Professional Editors
Posted by Jane
This post has been adapted from material by Jim Adams, at his site Migdalin.com. I met the talented Jim this past weekend at the WD Editors' Intensive, and we discussed his passion for editor George H. Scithers.
—
After 30 years of rejection, I finally got tired of not knowing why my writing wasn't working. Before trying to find a publisher or an agent, I sent the novel I'd just finished (or so I thought) off to a professional editor.
The year that followed was expensive (professional editors don't come cheap), but it also taught me things about plot, protagonist, pacing, and novel structure that I hadn't picked up from 15 credit hours of undergraduate creative writing courses, an M.A. in creative writing, and reading untold books on writing (some of them with titles like PLOT).
Professional editors are more efficient than how-to books. They give you feedback specific to your project. It's one thing to read a "rule" in a book, it's another thing to have an editor point to a spot in your opus and say, "Here's where you broke the rule, and here's how your writing was weakened as a result."
Professional editors can be more effective than a degree in creative writing, since half your time in getting that sort of degree will be in ancillary class work. Worse, unless you're careful and choosy, you could easily wind up (as I did) at a university where the creative writing teachers sneer at pedestrian concerns like plot. If you dream of getting an M.A. or M.F.A. in creative writing, you might consider finding a professional editor instead. Not only could you learn more in less time, the editorial route might even be less expensive (depending on the university you're applying to), especially if going back to school means giving up a decent-paying job.
As sold as I am on getting help from professional editors, though, when I started working on a new novel, I faced a real dilemma: an insufficiency of funds. Although I hope this new book will need less editorial hand-holding than the previous one, getting the full manuscript critiqued still represents a major expense.
Also, I never feel I've mastered something until I do it right three times in a row. As such, I still have doubts about my ability to spot major plot holes and plot sidetracks on my own.
My brilliant solution to this conundrum?
I sent my editor a detailed synopsis rather than a complete novel.
Getting a synopsis critiqued is not only less expensive, it can save you a lot of time. In my case, although I already had a complete draft of the novel written, revising generally takes me twice as long (at least) as writing the rough draft. Thus, by spotting major non sequiturs in the synopsis, my editor can save me from tweaking pages, chapters, or even (please God, not that again!) an entire book that needs to be tossed out and rewritten from scratch.
If you like to outline and plan books ahead of time, you could even save yourself time during the drafting stage by getting an editor to look at your story premise and outline straightaway.
While they might tell you things you don't want to hear (such as that your underlying story idea won't hold water), wouldn't you rather find that out before you've spent months or years of your life working on the thing?
Even getting a synopsis edited can cost $200 or more, but it's money well-spent, since this particular $200 could save me weeks, even months, of fruitless revision and polishing. Even better, it could save me several thousand dollars, compared to sending a full manuscript to my editor, only to find that my novel has major structural problems—problems that could have been fixed via a review of my story outline.
Wondering how to find a solid professional editor? Preditors and Editors is a good resource for checking out an editing service before you give them your money or your manuscript. I've been using The Editorial Department, and the editor they assigned me to (Peter Gelfan) is the greatest: cruel, insensitive, tactful, patient, and very insightful.
My first book is still making the rounds of agents and publishers, and may still wind up turning into a trunk novel. While I'm convinced it's technically solid, that isn't enough to make a book sell given the difficult publishing environment these days. But whether my first book makes it or not, I feel much better about what I'm doing. I no longer feel like I'm spinning my wheels fruitlessly, repeating the same mistakes over and over again without realizing it.
—
Have you used a professional editing service that you've had a good experience with? Recommend it in the comments!
You can also check out:
Conferences/Events | Craft & Technique | Getting Published | Guest Post
Monday, June 22, 2009 1:32:31 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Friday, June 19, 2009
Best Tweets for Writers (week ending 6/19/09)
Posted by Jane
I
watch
Twitter, so you don't have to. Visit each Friday or Saturday for the week's best Tweets. (If I missed a great Tweet, leave
it in the Comments, or if you want more of a particular category of Tweet, also comment.) Best of BestAsk the editor: Do publishers have rules about POV?
@LatinoBookNews
Check out Jim Shepard on writing: "I don't think you realize how hard this is for me." [in Oprah's magazine]
@Sirenland
How to find something great to read
@GuyKawasaki
Getting Published, Agents/EditorsTerrific advice on hiring a literary agent from @MichaelHyatt
@RachelleGardner
Should you go to a writers conference? Easy list of pros and cons!
@Kid_Lit
Who says $1 a word freelance markets are dead? The latest FundsforWriters newsletter from @hopeclark
@milehighfool
The Editorial Process [with a traditional publisher]
@BubbleCow
Should You Self Publish Your book? ~~VERY Good Article
@everywriter
What not to edit
@motsjustes
Craft & TechniqueEssay on compelling story telling
@lilleypress
The dangers of starting with dialogue - from @NathanBransford
@benwhiting
The importance of good characters in your novel
@BubbleCow
10 Myths of Writer’s Workshop [particularly for educators]
@MeghnaK
Letting your characters rule the story
@benwhiting
How to write a novel when you have no plot. Hint: it involves bumper stickers.
@kragtbakker
Publishing News, Trends, OpinionsHow the Lit Fic Crowd Can Make Digital Publishing Legitimate
@thecreativepenn
Kindle and book business: this is the best analysis I've seen recently.
@thecreativepenn
There’s a rich and vibrant world at the opposite end of mediocrity, and it represents the real future of publishing
@glecharles
What if people steal my book? Karmic rights management (via @thebookwright )
@thecreativepenn
Marketing/Promotion6 Things Readers Want from Your Author Website
(smart tips; focus on the fundamentals)
@dbschlosser
Advanced platform strategy from Chris Brogan and here
@thewritermama
Twitter on Twitter"I don’t want, or know how, to develop a strategy for my authenticity. Apparently, I will not be a successful tweeter."
@RonHogan
Online & Offline Resources/ToolsThe Economist's writing style guide is fantastic.
@thesolowriter
Five Good Books About Genre Writing by Actual Authors
@jharmonwriter
The Writing Life / PhilosophicalExcellent article about not letting your day job kill your writing life
@kellyaharmon
Love this by Seth Godin, YOU MATTER, reminds me of my 2009 mantra, Make Good Things Happen
@thewritermama
For tomorrow: Get up on the right side of bed. A new routine that'll change ur life.
@sanderssays
FunThis week, "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off," a sad, lovely piece from my writing teacher Sandra Tsing Loh
@lindseyleej
Looking for more social networking and updates from Writer's Digest?
Best of Twitter
Friday, June 19, 2009 4:26:00 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
5 Common Flaws in Memoir Projects
Posted by Jane
Most everyone knows how difficult it can be to sell a memoir when you're not famous (or infamous). I often advise writers that if you don't have a celebrity-like fan base, or a loyal and captive audience, then you need to write like a master—or have such a fantastical story that no one will be able to divert their attention from it (the kinds of personal stories that get aired on the morning shows, like that guy who had to cut off his own arm when stuck in a mountain crevasse).
Many writers I meet tackle memoir as their first serious book project, which often means their writing has not yet advanced to the level that will enrapture editors/agents. There are exceptions, of course, but I've only met one or two in my time at Writer's Digest, and they have significant writing history behind them. (Here is one example.)
Here are the five common flaws that I see in manuscripts I review at conferences.
- You have written a story focused on pain or victimhood—and nothing more. You get extra (negative) bonus points if you wrote it as part of a grieving process, either at the recommendation of a therapist or as part of a therapy group. Writing through grief and tragedy is a proven method to heal, but it is not a proven method for getting published. I say this not to be insensitive, but to bring needed attention to the fact that these stories are prevalent, and very few publishing houses are accepting them. This is especially true of stories of (1) abuse (2) cancer (3) caring for aging parents.
- Your source material is a diary or journal. And you're using that as your rough draft, or the book is structured in that manner. Such materials are fine for inspiration and to remember vivid details. But very few diaries or journals are suitable starting places for a publishable memoir. (And I say this as a fan of Anais Nin.)
- You want to tell about your experience as a means of self-help for others—that is, you mix the memoir and self-help genres. I have never seen this work on the page. You have to choose one or the other. Self-help is a better option if you have the credentials/authority to back up your advice. Life experience, or overcoming a personal challenge, is not enough expertise to help others, especially when it comes to physical and mental health.
- You have no definitive story arc or story problem. Are you attempting to tell everything about your life, from beginning to end, starting with childhood, where you were born, where you went to school, leaving no stone unturned? Why? Are you sure it's essential to the story? Memoirs need a beginning, middle, and end, and there needs to be a story problem, just as you would find in a novel. And it needs to be told in scenes, and have characters. And you need to leave out a lot of detail.
- The story is not told with a fresh or distinct perspective. You need to find the voice or perspective that makes the story compelling and offers vibrancy, and create an effective and engaging dramatic persona.
One of the more fascinating pieces I've read on memoir was in a July 2002 article in Writer's Digest magazine. W.W. Norton editor Alane Salierno Mason discussed the difference between the "I" memoir (which is all about the narrator) and the "eye" memoir (which is about point of view and relationship to the greater world as well as self).
Most people I meet are undoubtedly writing the "I" memoir, but it leads to a lot of talking and talking and talking (as Mason points out), and unless that talking is absolutely captivating, it's tough to take the project further than your own friends and family.
Looking for more help on this topic?
Photo credit: Jurvetson
Craft & Technique | Getting Published
Tuesday, June 16, 2009 2:55:19 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Saturday, June 13, 2009
Best Tweets for Writers (week ending 6/12/09)
Posted by Jane
I
watch
Twitter, so you don't have to. Visit each Saturday for the week's best Tweets. (If I missed a great Tweet, leave
it in the Comments, or if you want more of a particular category of Tweet, also comment.) Best of BestAdorable AND valuable - 5 Things Sesame Street Can Teach You About Breakthrough Blogging
@Mediabistro
Just compiled a writing advice database of past posts
@NathanBransford (literary agent)
Writing revision checklist for fiction
@NathanBransford
Love this post: Top Ten Things I Know About Editing
@BubbleCow
20 Must-Read Blogs For Freelance Writers
@dnzWriting
Stand Alone (no links)
Better than great sales or bestseller lists are letters from readers saying your book reflects their lives & makes them feel relevant.
@amymackinnon
Idea: Use a Facebook Fan page or group to give away knowledge and tools. Be a resource. <LOVECAT think: Knowledge networking>
@timbursch
"It's nearly always better to resist the urge to explain."
—Renni Browne and Dave King
@KMWeiland
Social networking is about building relationships BEFORE you ask people to represent you, buy your work or offer you a contract.
@DebraMarrs
"Tell almost the whole story."
—ANNE SEXTON
@AdviceToWriters
"There’s nobody out there waiting for it, and nobody’s going to scold you if you don’t do it."
—LYNNE SHARON SCHWARTZ
@AdviceToWriters
@thecreativepenn and @mariaschneider routinely dig up great things on the web for writers, and are worth following.
@KimsCraftBlog
Writing Tip: Make your writing reader-centric: always answer the implicit or explicit "What's in it for me?" question.
@expertwriter
Getting Published, Agents/EditorsShould I send a revision to agents currently looking at my work? You know you've had the urge
@Kid_Lit
Should you query now or wait to meet an agent at a conference? @RachelleGardner gives some insight
@JohnUpChurch
7 reasons manuscripts are rejected & how you can avoid it
@janetlaneauthor
E-Publishing reality
@thecreativepenn
Done writing? Tips for hiring an editor
@motsjustes
Publishing Comparisons (POD vs. POD)
@thecreativepenn
Considering a pen name? The pros and cons.
@motsjustes
Craft & TechniqueWeekend Writing tip: Plan Through Character
(includes worksheet)
@AnnaDeStefano
On Genre-Based Critique Groups: Helpful but Not Mandatory
@Becky_Levine
Some lunchtime reading for any writers out there: "Writing: The power of three"
@Kimota
Plotting by Elimination
@benwhiting
Podcast with lively discussion about editing.
@ljsellers
Great writing podcast by three authors (one writes fantasy, the other horror, the other webcomics)
@gregbas
Setting as a Character - agent Maass on writing mythic significance into the landscape
@dbschlosser
"Just say no to dialect, y'all"
@motsjustes
Keeping your dialogue lively by @RGregoryBrowne
@benwhiting
Learn about point of view in fiction writing
@motsjustes
... a new talk, on plotting and springing surprises in novels (by Arthur A. Levine editor)
@chavelaque
Publishing News, Trends, OpinionsTIME: Amazon defining the future of publishing
@KFZuzulo
Marketing/PromotionAuthor Christina Katz @thewritermama with platform ideas and mistakes
@janecandid
Building an Author Platform (Video)
@thecreativepenn
A pain free method of self-promotion
@TXBirder
Twitter on Twitter
Some deep insights into twitter in this post by @cheeky_geeky. Really thought-provoking.
@timoreilly
USA Today on the art of writing on Twitter (and Facebook):
@jwikert
Why Writers Should Use Twitter
@alexisgrant
Note to writers: Twitter may be a better platform than a blog.
@jamesscottbell
The grand unveiling: The Smashwords Writer's Digest ad, written by your tweets (and yes, winners inside the ad)
@markcoker
Online & Offline Resources/ToolsFive sites to get free books
@BubbleCow
The 50 Best Books on Writing Fiction
@BubbleCow
Sunday writers links (Thx @le_shack !)
@thecreativepenn
Detect Plagiarism on the Web by @CathyStucker
@BookMarketer
The Writing Life / PhilosophicalWriters: Are you indispensable?
@milehighfool
How to be a more successful writer - by thinking like an entrepreneur.
@barryeisler
Just blogged about 3 things John Cleese taught me on unleashing creativity at will
@sanderssays
"Listen Up, Old School Journalists" (via RecessionWire)
@mariaschneider
FunActual student comments in writing workshop from McSweeney's -hilarious!
@WritersGroup
NY Times map of publishing industry natural selection of logos
@ficwriter
The Top 15 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines (giggle!)
@thecreativepenn
Looking for more social networking and updates from Writer's Digest?
Best of Twitter
Saturday, June 13, 2009 3:43:36 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Friday, June 12, 2009
Stay on Premise, PLEASE!
Posted by Jane
Today's guest post features once again the delightful Darrelyn Saloom. (You can read her first guest post here, "The Song of Writing.")
I'm sure you've all experienced some variation of the story below,
which illustrates a huge lesson that some writers never learn—how to
leave out all the unnecessary details! (Below: a picture of Darrelyn
and her husband.)
 
My first stay-on-premise lesson was in a freshman creative writing class, Wendall Mayo handed back my long short story and told me he liked it—all five of them!
Hmmm? I expected a Pulitzer Prize, not this. Okay, so maybe I wandered a bit here—oh, yes—and there. But I thought it would explain this, prepare the reader for that. So, maybe he had a point. But it’s a great story! I thought. But no epiphany.
Until Mardi Gras. My husband, Danny, and I stood in a noisy, inebriated crowd to watch the parade. A tacky float towered above us as we jumped and bumped and fought for beads. We were waiting for the next float when a woman (we barely knew) huddled next to us and started talking. She told us she almost missed her flight to get here. And even with all the noise, we grinned and bent towards her to listen to her story.
On the way to the airport she had stopped for coffee. She ran into an old friend, who was married to her ex-husband’s cousin. Oh, oh, oh, she almost forgot that the cousin had been taking a break from posting pictures of her lost dog, Muffin, that often ran away, but never for three days! … I mean, she had a dog once that …
Here came the next float, but the woman kept talking. She was not even to the airport yet. She had segued from Muffin the dog to her own dog to her ex-husband’s cousin’s marital history! Danny and I stuck up our arms to show her we wanted to scatter like children to catch beads. But she kept talking. I could hear a band in the distance—The Northside High School Band—my favorite! But she kept talking and talking and talking.
My husband’s grin slipped away. And then his eyes began to glaze. By the time his chin pointed skyward, I knew she had lost him. But now a relative had died! Tears pooled in her eyes! So I made Ooh sounds to confirm the relative’s sudden death was terrible. A tragedy! But what happened to the almost-missed-my-flight story?
The Northside High School Band marched closer. I started to dance a little, not knowing if this was appropriate (but not really caring at that point.) The band stopped about a block away to twirl batons, gyrate, and shake. These kids could really dance, and I longed to spin around to watch them. But the woman’s swollen tears had spilled to her cheeks!
Which Danny never saw because he continued to stare skyward. And then he began to roll his head. He rolled and rolled until he (brilliantly) swung his body on the last roll, broke the huddle, and slinked away. And left me with the talking (now crying) woman.
When the marching band finally parked in front of us, I threw my hands to my ears, mouthed that I could no longer hear her, and whirled and wiggled and bopped away. The whole time thinking of Wendall Mayo’s lesson on premise, a lesson now pounded into me with every glorious bass drum beat.
Never heard how the woman raced across the airport in the nick of time to catch her flight. And, by the time I abandoned her on the crowded street, I really didn’t care. Her storytelling bored and confused me. All I wanted to do was to flee.
So if you ever find yourself telling a story. And the listeners’ eyes start to glaze, or their heads start to roll, or (heaven forbid) they flee. Chances are pretty good you’ve gone off your premise. So next time—for story’s sake—stay on premise, PLEASE!
Craft & Technique | General | Guest Post
Friday, June 12, 2009 11:10:40 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Center for Fiction Writers Conference: June 27
Posted by Jane
Ron Hogan of Galleycat has been working to put together a new writers conference with the Center for Fiction in New York—a conference that deals specifically with the issues that writers face AFTER they've created a great story and found an agent and publisher.
As you've often heard me say, it's as important for authors to know about the business side of publishing as the artistic side. It's nice to see a conference finally taking up this side of the writer's life in a serious and focused way.
The Center for Fiction Writers Conference is one-day only (Saturday, June 27) at Fordham College at Lincoln Center, with panels populated by heavy hitters from mainstream publishers and literary agencies (e.g., Dan Menaker, Jon Karp, Kate Lee, Larry Kirshbaum). The complete lineup of two dozen speakers is available online.
In addition to all that, the Center for Fiction is giving attendees a free month of access to its writers' studio in midtown Manhattan, plus a discount on future membership. The total cost is $200 for the day.
Here's some more information about the conference and why Ron Hogan wanted to produce it.
And more here.
This looks like a fabulous, top-notch event for someone with a publishing deal, especially for those in the NYC area.
For those who may or may NOT have a publishing deal, and are looking for a longer program that would help justify traveling a long distance to NYC, I encourage you to check out WD's new event this September that focuses on the business side of publishing, whether you're going the traditional route, DIY route, or still need to make up your mind.
Conferences/Events
Tuesday, June 09, 2009 6:30:20 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00) Trackback
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