Hey, everyone—

So, it’s been a while since we’ve visited or talked about the SCRIPT NOTES PITCH WORKSHOP, but I don’t want to let it fall through the cracks.  In fact, I’d like to revamp it a bit.  Originally, I’d proposed doing it in two or three-week stages: for a certain time period, readers could submit loglines, then we’d do slightly longer summaries, and—finally—a page-long synopsis.  The idea was that people could get feedback on their ideas not only from me, but from other readers as well.

But only about four people ever submitted ideas, so I’ve been re-thinking the process a bit, and I’d like to give it another try.  Here’s what I’m thinking…

•  Let’s do away with the two/three-week phases and, instead, make it an ongoing cycle.  Whenever you have an idea… email it to me at WDScriptNotes@FWPubs.com, or simply post it as a comment to this post or one of the other workshop submission posts.  I’ll then post it as its own blog post so other readers can find it and give you feedback.

•  Since we’re not submitting in stages, feel free to submit a logline, paragraph or one-page summary.  PLEASE DON’T SUBMIT ANYTHING LONGER THAN ONE DOUBLE-SPACED PAGE!  However, submit whatever you think will garner the most helpful feedback.

•  Also, I’ve added the Pitch Workshop to the list of CATEGORIES on the left side of the screen so it will always be easy to find.  That way, you don’t have to comb through old blog posts to find this post, or other submissions, if you want to submit anything or leave someone feedback.  I’ll make sure all submission, past and present, find their way to the Pitch Workshop category.

•  All the old etiquette rules still apply… the workshop isn’t here so we can bash each other or our ideas… it’s here so we can all get helpful feedback and constructive criticism on our ideas.  So definitely be honest in your feedback, but be polite and respectful!

•  Lastly, if you submit an idea, take a moment to give some quick feedback to other readers who have submitted loglines or summaries.  You can tell them you love it, or tell them what’s “bumping you” and a quick suggestion to tweak it.

Ultimately, I’d love for the Pitch Workshop to be not only a great forum for swapping ideas and creative suggestions, but a forum for dialogue about story, character, etc.  I’ll do my best to respond to as many submissions as possible myself.

So to re-kick start the workshop, I thought I’d take a moment to give some feedback to Tanya, who not only submitted her movie logline last month, she commented on Phillip Sevy and E. Daniel’s submissions as well.  

First of all, Tanya—thanks for offering those guys your feedback… I hope they found it helpful!  Second of all, sorry it’s taken me a while to get your feedback up here, but—at long last—here you go!...

TANYA’S LOGLINE:

BRB TO THE FUTURE, a feature-length comedy, follows 13-year-old cell phone-obsessed Barbara as she travels 500 years into the future, where chat/text message abbreviations are more than just the latest craze – it’s a spoken language used by every nation in the world.

WHAT I LIKE:
There’s clearly a lot of fun to be had with a futuristic world that has become so technologically dependent that our very language has degenerated into a universal mess of abbreviations.  It’s a great way to comment on where we are today and where we’re going.  Having said that…

WHAT I THINK NEEDS WORK:
You’ve given us a fantastic detail about the future world, but I’m not sure of two important things…

A)  What does the rest of the world looks like, and how is it a reflection of our world today?  Your future’s language has clearly changed, in a wonderfully dark and comedic way, but what else has changed in this cautionary tale?  Are people so techno-dependent that they have chips embedded in their heads, allowing them to download movies or talk to friends without the aid of computers/telephones?  Is everyone a cyborg?  Is the planet simply one big sprawling city?  The idea that cell phones and texts have eroded our language skills is great… but how else do you envision computers and technology changing humanity—for better or worse?  This will be the key to selling (both creatively and commercially) your story: creating a world that articulates where you see us headed… and how it’s a comment on today’s society.  (Think about The Matrix, Idiocracy, Clockwork Orange, 1984, etc.  These stories are all set in the future—and in some cases, even play with language in similar ways to your BRB TO THE FUTURE, but they concoct a full-bodied world that holds a mirror up to our own.)

B)  What’s the actual STORY in BRB TO THE FUTURE?  What does Barbara want?  I presume she’s trying to get back to her own time…?  But in that case, how did she get to the future, and—however she traveled—why can’t she just hop back?  (In Back to the Future remember, Marty traveled back in a time traveling car, but the car broke… so he had to fix it before he could return.)  And WHY does Barbara want to return to the past?  From your initial set-up, it seems she has traveled to a future tailor-made for her… so I’m guessing/assuming she begins to learn the downsides of this blind dependence on cell phones/technology.  Perhaps she discovers no one in your techno-dependent future is capable of human connection; babies are made in labs, people live alone in pods, heartfelt discussions are a thing of the past, etc.  But as she learns this, does she use her “stronger” interpersonal skills to try and rule this devolved future?  Does she despise it and try to leave?

To be fair, I think you probably know the answers to many of these questions and see much more of the movie in your head than has been articulated in your logline.  But I would adjust the logline to accommodate more of that vision, rather than just focusing on the one detail of the world’s ravaged language.  For instance, while I don’t want to rewrite your logline for you or push you down a story path you don’t like, notice how these revamped loglines give more of a sense of story… without sacrificing the spirit of the world you’ve created…

BRB TO THE FUTURE, a feature-length comedy, follows Barbara, a computer-obsessed 13-year-old, who falls through her science teacher’s time warp and finds herself stranded 500 years in the future, where technology-dependent humans have lost the ability to relate to—or help each other—in any way.

OR…


BRB TO THE FUTURE, a feature-length comedy, follows Barbara, a computer-obsessed teenager, who invents a time machine that takes her to the future, where people are so dependent on machines they’ve lost the ability to communicate… allowing Barbara to take over the world and become an interplanetary dictator.

Again, I’m not saying either of these ideas is good… or right… or the story you want to tell… but they at least give Barbara an engine and arc to carry her through the incredible world you’ve created.

Anyway, Tanya, I hope this helps.  Thanks so much—for both submitting your own idea and commenting on the others… and keep reading!

As for the rest of you… let the pitch submissions begin!  Just put them in the comments section of this post... or email them to WDScriptNotes@FWPubs.com.  I hope to hear from you soon!

Have a good weekend…

Chad

Today's question comes from CONNIE, an aspiring reality producer who lives in a state far from Los Angeles...
"I was at a party and ran into an acquaintance whose brother is a [low-budget film] producer... and I told him broadly about my [reality show] idea.  He said that he might be interested in developing my idea.  Do I need a lawyer to negotiate for me?  I don't know where to begin to find a good entertainment lawyer - especially here in the provinces.  Should I sell to the first bidder and get out, or should I try and find an agent and hold out for a more legit company?  What would you do?"

Hey, Connie—

Thanks for the question… this is an interesting dilemma, especially for you and all the other readers who live far from the madding crowds of Hollywood.

The first thing to discuss is how TV shows are actually sold.  Unlike in the rest of the world… where buying/selling transactions mean Person A pays Person B an agreed-upon price to wholly acquire a product, then Person B goes away… television works a bit differently.

When a network “buys” a TV show idea, they do acquire the rights (usually), just like in a traditional business transaction.  But RARELY does the seller/producer go away.  In fact, the most important part of a TV idea is almost NEVER the idea itself… it’s the writer/producer/storyteller behind it.  A mediocre idea in the hands of a talented and proven producer is almost always more attractive and sellable than a brilliant idea from a total novice.  So the TV network wants, needs, and often EXPECTS that person to stay around.  In fact, it’s nearly impossible for a total novice to sell an idea at all, no matter how brilliant it may be.  

(This is for many reasons…  A: networks and studios want to hire producers they know can execute their own vision, B: networks and studios also tend to hire producers they’ve worked with and continue to trust, C: EVERY IDEA—no matter how original its creator may think it is—has been pitched, developed, or done before; so an idea itself rarely has value… it’s the producer’s vision and execution that make it unique and sale-able.)

As a result, when a TV network or studio buys an idea, they don’t just pay the seller one large paycheck and then own the property in a single transaction.  In fact, because the seller usually sticks around to produce the project, there usually isn’t one set price.  Rather, the buyer and the seller agree on a producing fee which is paid to the producer over the life of the project.  

So, for example, if you sold a TV network or studio a show called “Connie’s World,” they probably would NOT say, “We love this idea, Connie—we’d like to buy it from you for $100.”  Instead, they’d say, “We love this idea, Connie—we’d like to produce it with you.  We’ll own the project—or at least the majority of it—but we’ll pay you $60 to produce the pilot and $40 per episode to produce the subsequent episodes.”  (These numbers aren’t accurate, obviously—they’re just examples.)  These “producing fees” would be negotiated between you and the buyer at the outset.  You may also negotiate maintaining ownership… or a certain amount of ownership… in the project.  The “real money” in TV comes from owning TV shows, or pieces of their backend, not in producer fees… so it’s to your advantage to maintain as much ownership over your project as possible.

All of this helps answer your questions, because if your producer-friend wants to “buy” your project outright, it says two things to me:

1)  You shouldn’t do it.  Or at least, you shouldn’t “sell” him your project in its entirety.  Partnering with him is a different thing… and he may make a valuable PARTNER, which we’ll discuss in a moment.  But I wouldn’t wholly sell him your idea.

2)  If he wants to “buy” your idea outright, it suggests he doesn’t understand how television works.  Now—you don’t necessarily say this in your question, so I’m kind of inferring... (and to be fair, you say he just wants to “develop” it, which seems more appropriate)… but just be warned: whenever someone—especially a not-established TV network, studio, or production wants to “buy” an idea—it’s usually a red flag to me that they don’t understand how the TV business works.

So the question is… IS THIS GUY THE PRODUCER/PARTNER FOR YOU?

Only you can ultimately answer that question, but use these criteria to help…

To produce a TV show, or convince a buyer you can produce it, three things must be covered by the selling team…

1)    You need a strong creative vision (this is primarily where you come in, since the idea is your baby)

2)    You need the ability to physically produce the show… to shoot it, budget it, prep it, post it (and practicalities will often affect the creative vision/execution, so your physical producer should be someone you trust creatively as well)

3)    You need to have the connections and track record in order to sell it.  Buyers like networks and studios rarely take meetings with strangers and newbies, let alone buy projects from them.  So you need to have someone who can get you in the door and convince buyers you have the ability to make this TV show.  If it’s not you, or a producing partner, it can be agent or manager.

If you don’t have all three of these points covered yourself, that’s when you need a producing partner… in this case, your film producer friend.  

The questions you must ask yourself are:

•  Does he have the ability to produce this show physically?  Not just as a one-off, like a movie, but as a long-running series?

•  Does he know the appropriate reality executives and producers to pitch this to?  And if so, does he have strong enough relationships with them—or a track record—to convince them he can do this?

If the answers to these questions are yes, you’ve found your partner!

If the answers are no, you may want to keep looking.  Partnering with the wrong person can hurt you more than not partnering with anyone, because you burden the project with unattractive attachments, and that makes it a tougher sell to execs and producers.  So be very careful about who you partner with!

Having said that, I understand that you want to move forward, and this producer may be your one resource to helping get this project off the ground.

Perhaps you can work with him simply to develop the concept and shoot a sizzle reel or demo.  He probably won’t work for free, but you could negotiate a plan to pay him only for his work on this stage of the project.  It could be a work-for-hire arrangement, in which you pay him just to help you develop the idea and shoot a sizzle reel.  Or it could be arrangement in which you defer his compensation and pay him only if the idea sells.  You could even offer him a piece of the project’s backend if it sells; HOWEVER—since, at this point, you have no control over how much backend—if any—you may get, you can only offer him a piece of YOUR potential backend, not the whole project’s.  (In other words, let’s say you offer him 15% of the backend; you can’t really offer him 15% of the show’s backend, you can only offer him 15% of YOUR backend.)

To answer your final question, Connie—do you need a lawyer/agent/etc. to negotiate this?—probably.  I’m NOT a lawyer/agent/etc., and I know very little about the machinations of these things… but you should have legal representation any time you want to legally protect yourself or your ideas.

Having said that—I don’t know how many entertainment lawyers are out there in your neck of the woods.  Most of them, obviously, are in places like LA, New York, Nashville, etc.  And, unfortunately, I think you’ll have a nearly impossible time convincing one—if they’re not already your best friend or relative—to take you on as a client.

However, there probably ARE lawyers in your area who can handle this… or refer you to someone you can.  Ask around at entertainment-related places that would have these connections: local TV stations, radio stations, talent agencies, commercial production companies, universities with media departments, etc.  You’ll have to pound the pavement a little, but I promise: there are probably less than six degrees of separation between you and your lawyer.

Anyway, Connie—I hope this helps!  Good luck with your project, and I hope to see it on TV soon!

For the rest of you… if you have questions, please don’t hesitate to email me at WDScriptNotes@FWPubs.com

Talk to you soon!

Chad

As you all know, the Writers Guild of America launched its American Idol Truth Tour last week to help unionize reality TV and fight unfair labor practices against writers.  In yesterday's LA Times, Fremantle fights back.  Here's the article...

Reality TV producer FremantleMedia North America fired back at the Writers Guild of America, West, dismissing its "American Idol" Truth Tour as nothing more than a caravan of misinformation.

"The WGA allegations that are leveled against Fremantle are not true and just another example of their campaign of defamation and negative propaganda," said David Shall, executive vice president of business operations for Fremantle, which produces several reality TV programs, including the Fox hit "American Idol."

Shall was responding to a campaign the guild launched this week intended to highlight the adverse working conditions of writers on "American Idol" and other Fremantle shows. Among other things, guild officials allege that Fremantle has denied overtime pay and meal breaks to writers and other workers.

But Fremantle executives call such claims baseless. The guild's dispute with Fremantle began last year, when it urged four writers on the game show "Temptation" to walk off the job. The union has since helped several Fremantle employees file wage and hour claims, which have been settled or are pending.

The union wants Fremantle to agree to a contract covering writers on all of its reality and game shows, which Fremantle argues is unreasonable because not all of the company's shows, including "American Idol," use writers -- an assertion the union disputes.

Fremantle recently negotiated a contract with the guild to cover its game show "Match Game" and noted that it had agreements with other unions, including the Directors Guild of America.

"They want a blanket contract to cover every one of our shows, whether we need writers or not," Shall said. "Our position is that most of our reality shows and a good chunk of our game shows don't need writers."