Writer's Digest blog - This Writer's Life by Kevin Alexander

Warning: This a rather aggressively lengthed post. The Scene: I am now in Istanbul in the first Internet cafe that had an American keyboard. It is warm here (maybe 60) and there are more cats in this city than in every musical cast combined of the contemporary musical Cats, which is to say somewhere on the heavy side of 5 million. As I type this, a cat with one eye keeps rubbing against my leg and possibly asking me if I want to buy hand rolled cigarettes. Needless to say, I am mildly freaked out. While obviously important, that isn't the point of my blog.

When I decided to go on this trip, I had to make several difficult decisions, not the least of which was what books I would bring. I would be gone for four months potentially not being able to really talk with anyone the entire time except for the Big Cat, and so I knew the choices that I would make for books would dictate whether or not I would be able to find myself, especially since I planned on spending most of my time reading in a TGIFridays in Budapest. I realized, also, that I would have to lug said books across the globe and so weight would be an issue. Immediately, hard cover books and World Book Encyclopedias were ruled out. Plus, I wanted the books I would bring to say something about me and say something about the importance of reading and literature and current events on my life.

So basically, I had no choice but to leave the Nancy Drew-Hardy Boys SuperMystery #26 at home. Some of the books I brought were books I've been dying to read, some of them books I've been meaning to read and some of them I purchased at an English bookstore in Vienna. I think I ended up with something like 16. The Big Cat, on the other hand, brought one (something about a man walking across Afghanistan), but to be fair he's also purchased two issues of Okay!, the British version of US Weekly.

Anyway, because it seems important right now as this pirate-like tabby cat again attempts to sit in my lap and lick my hand, here is the list of books I brought on this trip and the reasons why and possibly brief responses to the ones I've read so far.

1. The Russian Debutante's Handbook by Gary Shteyngart. Reason: I like Shteyngart's non fiction a lot and have had this book on my bookcase for upwards of a year, always meaning to read it. Plus, the guy is Russian and I am going to Russia and I believe in being knowledgeable and worldly. Verdict: The dude brings it. This book is amazing, hilarious, fast paced, informative, broadly scoped, a masterpiece. How could this be his first book? Read this. Laugh. Use the restroom. Feel slightly insecure about your own writing. Go back to the restroom.

2. Wake Up, Sir by Jonathan Ames. Reason: While doing a profile of another writer, I interviewed a very cool editor at Picador and, along with the proofs of that writers book, he sent me a bunch of his other writers books. I brought along this one based on a review on the back that called Ames "Like an edgier Sedaris". Also, the book was pretty small. Verdict: hilarious, about a writer who has his own butler and is an alcoholic and incredibly productive at self diagnosis but not at doing much else. Again, many laugh out loud moments and great book for writers ever dreaming about the realities of working at a writers retreat (Ames bases the one in his book on a real one somewhere...get off me, cat)

3. Underworld by Don Delilo. Reason: This book is almost 900 pages paperback and I've never read any Delilo and I feel guilty about it. Plus, if I'm being honest with myself, then i can admit that I wouldn't read it unless I forced myself to bring it with me. 900 pages!!! That's like 16 Nancy Drew Files mysteries! Verdict: Truly impressive. He creates his own specific, evocative language, and it reads almost like poetry for the entire 3 million words. Also, covers something like 50 years... people like him make me feel both incredibly lucky that they exist so we get to experience their work and small and insecure. Well played, Delilo.

4. A Moveable Feast by Some Guy Who Probably Isn't Important (Hemingway). Reason: Come on now. You and I both know why I would bring this book. Who doesn't want to know what Gertrude Stein is really like? Verdict: Um, interesting. I am a huge fan of Hemingway and this didn't really do it for me. Although, if you are interested in hearing about F. Scott Fitzgerald's, um, sexual proclivities...please stop reading my blog.

5. The Sportswriter by Richard Ford. Reason: Richard Ford came out with a new book in his series of Frank Bascombe mid-life crisis novels and I had never read any of them and my father was like, "Why haven't you read any of these books? Aren't you a "writer"?" And I said, "Stop doing that quotation marks thing with your hands every time you call me a writer." And he's like, "How can you even tell I'm doing that? We're on the phone." Anyway. Verdict: Frank has some serious issues, namely his inability to make any decision without asking himself deep penetrating philosophical questions that shake him to the core. Or something. I liked this book because it made me think that maybe I'm not quite as crazy as my therapist seems to believe. And although I am not yet in my late 30s, Ford makes me seem like I know what that's like. Actually, I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing.

6. Truth and Bright Water by Thomas King. Reason: I first read Thomas King's Green Grass, Running Water in a Native Amer Lit Class in my MFA program and I thought it was one of the 5-7 best books I'd ever read. His wit is sharp, he renders things so damn accurately, i just was actually mad that I had never read any of his stuff before and vowed to read everything else. Then the class was over and I forgot about the promises I made to myself. Luckily, I happened to stumble upon this while walking past a used bookstore in NYC. It was, again, another case of my life almost exactly resembling the John Cusak film Serendipity. Verdict: Not quite Green Grass, but still, humor and childhood and Native Amer life (even though it takes place in Canada).

7. Important Things That Don't Matter by David Amsden. Reason: Amsden is a contributing writer at New York Magazine and I am a fan of his magazine articles, which often are fresh takes on ideas I have several months after the fact for Boston Mag. Plus, he's a young guy with the charmed benefit of having the New York Times write an article about going out with him in New York ("A Night Out with David Amsden: Oh, to be a Bold Faced Name"), which makes me kind of hate him, kind of want to be him. Verdict: The book took me an hour to read, tops, and covers a teen growing up in the 80s and 90s and is very, very autobiographical, even though it is a novel (I only say that bc a closing scene in a restaurant is almost exactly like a nonfiction essay i think he wrote for Nerve.com). It's a fine book, but I've been reading such hot shit, it didn't have much of a chance.

8. The IRA by Tim Pat Coogan. Reason: I was going to Belfast and wanted to be informed about the conflict in N. Ireland from something else besides the film The Patriot Game starring Harrison Ford so I picked up this tome in an English bookstore in Vienna. It's almost Delilo long. Verdict: Delilo long, none of the narrative arc, all of the millions of words. I still am not done with it, and it has some very interesting parts about the conflict, but essentially it is a history book and I feel like I'm doing homework when I read it. Not always in a good way.

9. Natasha's Dance: A Cultural History of Russia by Orlando Figes. Reason: See The Russian Debutante. Verdict: Oh man, more history? What am I trying to do, educate myself? To be fair, some very interesting facts and stories about how St. Petersburg was formed and the crazy, hedonistic parties aristocrats in Moscow used to throw, and lots of stuff on all the Russian writers, which sort of gives me a frame of mind for both places, but ultimately won't help me sort out where the TGIFridays is. Also Delilo long. Not done with this one, either. Helps me fall asleep.

10. Can't Stop, Won't Stop by Jeff Chang. Reason: Sorry, but I like hip-hop. I can't help it; I grew up in an upper middle class suburb and was obsessed with basketball. Conversely, and perhaps just as infuriatingly, I also like country music. I blame that on spending my childhood in Texas. Either way, Jeff Chang won the American Book Award for this history of hip hop and I like to pretend that I know about things that I like. Verdict: Just started. So far, so good. Using a strong font, that i like. Might be Georgia. I'll keep you posted.

11. The 27th City by Jonathan Franzen. Reason: I read The Corrections and loved it and that does play a big role in why I picked up this book, but mainly, I just want to be able to say, "Well, actually, I prefer some of Franzen's more obscure work." in a faux English accent and actually sort of know what I'm talking about, when people I don't like bring up The Corrections. Honestly, am I really this petty? Verdict: Yes. I am. (Book remains unread).

12. Glamorama by Brett Easton Ellis. Reason: Am I the only mid-twenties male writer with embarrassing facial hair who hasn't read any Easton Ellis? I mean I actually lie and tell people I've read American Psycho but I've only seen that part of the movie when he is tanning nude in his apartment and puts on Genesis. Wait, that didn't come out right. Verdict: Unread

13. The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem. Reason: I love the book Motherless Brooklyn and heard this was almost as good. Lethem is a genius. I think I could marry his work and be moderately happy. Okay, maybe I'm starting to lose it a little. (Oh my God. Not joking, the cat is licking the side of the computer monitor, and I seem to be the only person in this full Internet cafe moderately fazed by this.) Verdict: Meow.

14. The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe. Reason: Falls right into the "Are you f*cking serious, you've never read that and you write for non-fiction for magazines?" genre. I found it in my mom's basement and its small and yellowed and inscribed "Chris (my mom's name), Lot of good times. Julie." I have no idea who Julie is or what these good times were, I just hope they weren't happening while she was pregnant with me. Verdict: I don't think anyone wants to know what their parents did in the late 60s, early 70s.

15. Beasts of No Nation by Uzodinma Iweala: Reason: I picked it up in Vienna. About a boy caught up in an unnamed West African nation's civil war, I read the first page and knew I would want it. Electrifying Prose. Plus, the author is 24. Verdict: Unread, but probably next on my list.

16. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama. Reason: This one is sort of cheating, because I read it a year or two ago and The Big Cat actually bought it out here, but I want to read it again because of Obama's recent choice to run for the Dem nomination. I remember being jealous of how clear and solid the prose was, and impressed that any politician (or honestly anyone that wasn't primarily a writer) could put forth such a coherent, well-written book. Or at least I think that's what I remember thinking. I can't remember anything right now because the Jack Sparrow cat is licking itself in private places on the chair next to me. I desperately need to get out of here.

Okay. Wow. That's a lot of stuff. I'm not sure why anyone would get to the end of this post, other than to find the post a comment box and unleash expletives about making them read something as interesting as my book list, but, hey friends, come on. I'm in Turkey. But you're (probably) not. So go write, publish, and get wealthy. Then call me. KA

ps- Progress has been made in the "Kevin can't seriously be this inept" quest to respond to reader mail. I now understand that the word dot signifies the . in the emails. If cats weren't attempting to ruin my life, I'd even respond to questions right now. Blame the cats.

2/15/2007 7:30:56 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)

Comments [9]

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Muses, British Big Brother and the Mysteries of Technology

Let me begin with a confession and an indisputable fact.

Confession: I am bad with technology. I know this is not a startling confession, like admitting that, until I was 14, I slept with the lights on in my room (also true). My point in telling you this is to beg for your patience with me as I sort out exactly how to work this blog and figure out how to read everyone's email addresses, so I can respond promptly to questions and comments, which leads me to my indisputable fact.

Fact: Right now I happen to be in an Internet Cafe in Belfast, Northern Ireland. For those of you who don't know, I am one month into a three and a half month travel writing/self discovery tour of much of Western and Eastern Europe for which I took a semester off from my MFA program and begged my credit card company to up my spending limit. One of my friends from home, Casey Hurley (oft referred to as The Big Cat because he's more or less a giant), quit his job with the Dept of Defense and agreed to accompany me on the journey, in exchange for 'walking around money' and an agreement that I wouldn't 'publicly ruin his chances of getting another job'. We've kept a pseudo-travel blog of our trip and subsequent quest for self-discovery, the likes of which can be found on the blogroll (to the left) if you have any interest in hearing inaccurate biased critiques of major European cities and embarrassing facts about myself, which Case delights in revealing. I also swear, which--when used effectively-- can be awesome.

Anyway, I apologize if you've heard all of that before, but my main point in telling you about the trip is that--from a writing standpoint-- I had very real expectations for this trip that have now changed somewhat significantly.

When I first envisioned this trip, I imagined that it would greatly enhance my magazine journalism career by adding travel writing to my resume. I pretty much thought I'd be writing stories while doing active, extreme things like dog sledding in Finland and base jumping off the Space Needle in Bratislava, Slovakia. But it turns out, they don't even have a space needle. And I would never go base jumping.

So in reality, I've spent much less time working on magazine story ideas (As of this writing, I have one solid story idea, which someone is probably in the midst of pitching right...now) and working on my novel and writing a short story about going on a date with a former reality star in Zurich, Switzerland. Perhaps it's the sheer quantity of contemplative (moody?) people sitting in cafes, or maybe, more realistically, its the fact that I don't speak any other languages and, thusly, am terrified to make eye contact that have propelled me to work on fiction, but either way this reveals an undeniable truth: with writing, you really have no choice but to go where your fickle, slightly overweight Muse takes you. And for whatever reason, my Muse is forcing me to spend an inordinate amount of time sorting out what it'd be like to go on a date with a former reality star. So I guess my point is that while it's good and productive to set goals and have expectations for your writing, you never know what the hell is going to pop into your mind, and you just have to be willing to tell yourself that it's okay to see where that goes. And if that means that you're forced to watch a sh*t ton of the British version of Celebrity Big Brother while eating a family-size package of Kit Kats in the name of research, remember, it's not you. It's your Muse.

KA

ps- thanks everyone for writing in with your support, questions and requests for pantless pics. And if you did pose a question, I'm not ignoring you. I'm not even kind of avoiding you. I'm just incompetent in sorting out people's email addresses with the NOSPAM thing inserted. But I'm learning things very, very quickly and I will be sure and get back to you as soon as possible. I just need to see if this chick gets kicked out of the Big Brother House, because she's being ridiculously unreasonable, plus I think she hooked up with that guy Matt (or maybe Chris) strictly for personal gain:)

2/6/2007 12:12:44 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)

Comments [9]

Monday, January 29, 2007

Hi there

Oh hello. Unless you unintentionally clicked on the link to my blog while searching for a place to post romantic poems to Kevin Alexander Clark-that sassy, pre-teen heartthrob drummer from School of Rock, I assume you know who I am. But in case you don´t, or you´ve decided to momentarily abandon your Kevin Alexander Clark obsession and read on, here´s a brief yet informative bio written really for no reason in 3rd person and the answer to an obvious follow up question:
Kevin Alexander is one of a tandem of "This Writer´s Life Columnists" for Writer´s Digest who, despite Kevin never having published a book, have combined to sell over 12 million copies of books worldwide. He´s also a frequent contributor to Boston Magazine and pursuing his MFA in Fiction at Emerson College in Boston (although he has taken a semester off and is currently in the throes of a quarter life crisis\self-discovery\travel writing trip through Western and Eastern Europe). A Gemini, Kevin enjoys watching "the View", occasionally shaving and aggressively not wearing pants.

Brief, historical aside to answer the question, "How did you of all people get said column?"

Answer: About three years ago, I was finishing a grad degree in magazine journalism and for one of my classes, I wrote a satire of a self-help piece entitled, "How to Write a Literary Masterpiece; the Quick and Easy Way to Heaven" (see link at left for the original, unedited manuscript). Being young and overconfident and utterly clueless but motivated, I became convinced that this was the best thing ever produced and assumed nearly everyone else would as well. With that in mind, I began sending it out to writing magazines with the highest of expectations and was crushed when every one sent me back lengthy, slightly personal rejections, some of them even kind of mean. One started, "Mr. Alexander, This satire lacks any humor and would offend our readership".

Eventually, I tried to forget about it and move on with my life until one day, in what she assured me wasn´t a wrong number, I got a call from (then assistant editor!) Maria Schneider who told me that "while they weren't going to buy the piece", they were curious if I would write something else. So I did, and then I wrote another piece and then they asked, "Would you be interested in possibly writing a monthly column for us detailing your writing life?" and I told them, "No, of course not, I have way too many important things going on" and hung up. I kid. In reality, I accepted and began spontaneously dancing and trying to hug my roommate Ramsey, who proceeded to lock himself in his bedroom. And so for the past two years, I´ve been writing about writing triumphs and failures and Ramsey and The View and my father´s insistence that every reality show is (basically) Survivor. It continues to be one, long, happy ride or, as Maria would put it, "a very trying, crucial and expensive mistake for the magazine".

   Now that we´ve gotten through that, I should probably explain what this blog is going to be about. Really, how I envision it, is a combination of things. Since I´m what historians call somewhat of a renaissance man--I can do a mediocre job at nearly anything having to do with writing--the blog will serve as a place for me to A) talk about writing: what´s going on in the writing world, craft issues, things people should check out, etc, etc, B) answer any questions readers may have to the best of my obviously prodigious ability, C) compile pure, unedited, stream of conscious thoughts complete with misspellings (sp?) and glaring grammatical errors, D) entertain and encourage writing. Because really, friends, I´m here for you. I want everyone to be published, and at least some of you to be wealthy and famous so I can borrow your cars.

   For those of you who joined me on the forum, here are a few promises on how this will be 47 times better than said forum:

1. I´m dropping knowledge (i.e. posting) at least once a week, and while I can´t guarantee I´ll be interesting, at least the consistency is better.

2. It´ll be easier to see when a new post is up, which is good for my rapidly deteriorating eyes and apparently you can get an email alerting you to this monumental event. You lose again, Forum.

3. I can include pictures, which doesn t seem important, but for whatever reason, makes me very excited.

4. There will be a section, tentatively titled "Ramsey (might) solve your writing conundrum" in which I will actually solicit Ramsey´s advice to answer your writing questions. Not necessarily useful, but potentially entertaining.

5. Finally, instead of answering questions as posts like i did previously on the Forum, I will try and personally reply to people individually, or, if you ask a question that I think might be useful to a lot of people or common then I will put that up and you´ll win a free vintage poster of the cast of the View before Rosie was on the show. Or a copy of the School of Rock DVD with me forging a personal inscription from none other than Kevin Alexander Clark. Supplies limited.

   Anyway, that´s pretty much it for now. So feel free to drop by occasionally or frequently or just keep this page open and hit refresh every few minutes, the choice is yours.

I love you all. Never change.

KA

1/29/2007 10:39:49 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)

Comments [26]