Writer's Digest blog - This Writer's Life by Kevin Alexander

Friends, up today on the Novel Journey website is a Q and A with yours truly.

The link is here: http://noveljourney.blogspot.com/

Try to avoid asking yourself the obvious question of why someone would want to do a Q and A with me and just go with it.

Have a fantastic weekend.

KA

8/24/2007 2:32:43 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Two People I Love... just not like that.

The SoCal Experiment ends tomorrow, friends, when I fly back to Boston. Rumor has it that Beantown's weather is somewhere in the vicinity of not sweet, which is unsurprising. No word on whether the hippies have vacated the Espresso Royale by my apartment in favor of their home turf ~~probably~~ in Burlington, VT, but I'll be sure and keep you updated. Anyway, as promised here are two literary people I love, my reasoning for why you should love them as well.

1. I discovered Roddy Doyle years ago when I read a short story he wrote for a collection put together by Nick Hornby, but it wasn't until I went to Europe for several months that I started reading his books and, my God, he is absolutely fantastic. His Henry Smart series (which, as of now, include A Star Called Henry and Oh Play That Thing) is an incredible mix of spot on dialogue, Irish and American history, beautiful wordplay, humor, and jealously inducing phraseology. Even the Big Cat is into his sh*t, and--outside of reading the credits to Jim Carrey films-- I'd previously assumed he was illiterate. I think if I didn't love him so much, I might hate him. Roddy Doyle that is, not the Big Cat, although that's probably true as well.

2. I've never seen New Yorker pop music critic Sasha Frere-Jones but--between his/her (?) sweet name and his/her absurd music writing talent--she/he almost has to be attractive. Or a composite of several insanely skilled music writers ghostwriting under one name (much like Nancy Drew's "author" Carolyn Keene). I've been a fan of the understated humor on his/her blog (www.sashafrerejones.com), his/her verbal dexterity, seemingly limitless knowledge of hip hop and subtle skill in describing to highbrow lit, pop culturally challenged New Yorker audiences why Lil Wayne is culturally relevant or The Clipse's cocaine raps are actually quite complicated, for several years now. She/he has that rare ability to take what is good and important and relevant about music and put it into words. And not only do these words make sense, but they make you feel smarter, cooler and physically stronger when you pawn them off as your own scattered thoughts at grad school parties. I just wish I knew whether or not he/she was a dude.

And I'm spent. I'll see you at the Espresso Royale, hippies.

Who's Gonna Drive You Home,
Tonight

The,
Cars

8/21/2007 4:29:53 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Navigation Links, Column Secrets Revealed and, of course... the Disney Afternoon

If you'll kindly look to your left, you will find a link to my one of my columns from WD under the heading "The Road More or Less Traveled". If you've never read said column, this is your chance to see what happens when my work gets edited, and if you have read it before, this is your chance to re-visit it time and time again while having it handy to liberally quote from in holiday cards to ~~Elizabeth Hasselbeck~~ loved ones.

But to really celebrate the occasion, here are 6 director's commentary-style behind-the-scenes anecdotes from the making of the column:

1. I wrote said column longhand on four journal pages using a sh*tty Czech-brand pen in the Bohemian Bagel cafe in Prague, Czech Republic while eating a Turkey Club on a sesame bagel. Bohemian Bagel is an ex-pat joint, which is French for where the Americans hang out. As I recall, I asked for no mayo on said club sandwich but--being in the Czech Republic-- they took this to mean "slightly less mayo".

2. I'd say that this was one of the easiest of all of my columns to write because I was very much feeling the burden and guilt from not having taken on as many travel writing projects while I was away, which I promptly and frequently took out on my friend Casey ~~The Big Cat~~. The entire (unedited) first draft took only 3 hours to write, which is a short time period for me to do, really, anything.

3. I really thought Bill Bryson was British. Or at least Canadian.

4. Other characters I'd considered wishing I'd seen while hallucinating on absinthe: Baloo from Talespin, that Cajun dude from the animated X-Men (Gambit?), Raven Symone.

5. Word I was using too much at the time of writing: "organically".

6. (Not?) Awesome Mental Image: A "Pants-less Tom Wolfe"

Anyway, just wanted to give you the 411 so you could enjoy the column gratis in all its column glory. Now I'm going back to sleep.

Take On Me,

A,
Ha

PS- pictured below: The opening credits and theme song from The Disney Afternoon's Talespin as everyone remembers it...in Hungarian.

8/17/2007 9:48:45 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

SoCal Part Deux: An Anecdote is told, albeit poorly. Writing Stalls. Music Still Awesome.

Brief Awkward, Hard-to-Follow Personal Anecdote: Today my friend sent out a group email detailing how his cell phone had gotten "really wet", subsequently died and now he needed everyone's numbers again. Surprisingly, that isn't the best part of the story. Being narcisstic and easily (self)amused, I thought it would be ~~gnarly~~clever to respond to his number request with my own email to the entire group saying this:
"If it's cool, I'm going to pass. I guess I never felt comfortable with you having my # in your phone after the "incident".
Oops. Did I unintentionally hit reply all?"

You're a clever little devil, I whispered to myself after sending it, and slapped myself five, then went about figuring out what accoutrements to put on my Boar's Head Sausalitio turkey sandwich at lunch. But in the brief time that I'd gone out of my room to study the contents of the fridge (I drink f***ing one % milk, Dad, not two!!!), I received five emails, all from people who'd assumed they were responding solely to my friend, but were, in fact, responding just to me; asking questions about me, making comments about my (alleged) sexual proclivities, telling my friend I was weird, and/or relaying intimate personal details about their own lives in the coded, specific way that only makes sense between friends.

Although none of the emails I unintentionally received were that bad, I was horrified that someone would send another email to me detailing their Kevin Alexander hatred or worse, sending a link to my Facebook photo album. I thought about sending out another group email warning people about what was happening, but that seemed confusing and lame and Boy Cries Wolf-esque, so instead I've done nothing but bitch about it on my blog in a story that--now that i read it again--isn't all that sweet . Lesson: re-read your blog entries before posting.

New website I'm unhealthily obsessed with: Nikeid.nike.com

Old Instant Messenger Screen name, which created some confusion as to my gender: kevina9

How, friends, does anyone do any work in SoCal? The weather is offensively good, the people are "sun kissed", even people walking around the (outdoor!) malls are vaguely athletic. Today, for example, I tried to write several times but Frank kept asking me to do "activities" because he's my "guest" and he's "sick of watching me sift through Youtube videos from the 80s all day pretending to work on my novel". Not to mention, he was in a bad mood because Fed Ex tried to steal the flat screen TV he just purchased. It's a longer and more complicated story than that, but after the skill and hilarity of my email anecdote, what would be the point? So instead of writing, I went outside and spent several hours in the hot tub complaining about how hard my life is, which was annoying in itself because you can barely hear anything over the tub jets.

Fear ye not, though. Frank only has one more day of visitation rights and then I will have no excuse but to resume my writing routine. This will give us something to talk about. And thank God, because things are getting awkward, huh? But until that time I guess I have no choice but to continue in my quest to bring you the most musical of diamonds in the proverbial rough. Todays edition comes straight from 1985, the year that brought us the creation of the Internet's Domain Name System, that movie where Harrison Ford pretends to be Amish and the release of New Coke. Coincidence? Yes.

Join me next when I find my father easily filling in the answer to a crossword puzzle clue involving the Spice Girls.

These Dreams go on when I close my eyes,
every second of the night

Heart

PS- pictured below: Heart's Nancy Wilson wins a David Bowie-in-Labyrinth look-alike contest while falling in then out of water, electric guitar in hand.

8/14/2007 4:24:13 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

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Saturday, August 11, 2007

SoCal is So..Cal. A Jackson is possibly sighted. Hyperbole returns.

By Far the Best Search That Got to My Blog Today: Why do babydoll tops make me look pregnant?

SoCal Vanity License Plate of the Day: "One Nub"...?

Underrated Haribo Gummi Bear Color: Clear

It's Friday night in SoCal. The clubs, as I imagine, are jumping jumping. The tide is high or, possibly, low. And somewhere in SoCal someone with semi-long blondish hair is drunk saying, "Dude, today I caught this sweet crest down into the blue room" while Jack Johnson's 'Bubbletoes' plays softly in the background.

I just got back from dinner with my brother, my father, and my friend Frank, who has come out to spend his final week before returning to law school out in the sunny SoCal weather. I had soft shell crab. My father asked me three times when I'm going back to Boston, which I skillfully avoided answering by picking and choosing my eye contact. Anyway, I'm currently watching Frank download Michael Bolton songs because, as he put it, "do you f***ing need a reason to download Michael Bolton? Sorry it's not Akon, loser".

I have yet to start writing and don't really have anything of value to add other than these 5 observations:
1. Every guy in San Diego looks like some version of Dane Cook.
2. The plastic surgery industry in SoCal is still alive and very much thriving.
3. My brother is flat lying when he says he can both stand up and "turn" on a surfboard.
4. We may or may not have seen Latoya Jackson tonight and--if it wasn't her-- that's almost more terrifying bc then it was a woman who actively sought to look like Latoya Jackson.
5. Even with vicodin, foot surgery is never awesome.

Like I said before, friends, I've got absolutely nothing valuable to add to the literary, intellectual, or social-emotional world. So instead I'm going to leave you with quite possibly the. GREATEST. MUSIC. VIDEO. OF. ALL. TIME. courtesy of our friends at Youtube and my favorite year, 1987. The dancing is top notch, the outfits are uber-trendy and it just goes to show that if a man in America wants to jump into a chain link fence for no apparent reason, he can do that. Eat it, Communism.

Join me next time, when my father finds out I've "lost" my ATM card.

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down

Rick,
Astley

8/11/2007 1:12:16 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

Comments [11]

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Re-emergence via Poetry. A Trip is Announced. And Malibu does SoCal

Best Search That Found It's Way to My Blog Today: Clever Sayings When Congratulating a Pregnancy

Example of a Clever Saying When Congratulating a Pregnancy: Oh gross, he/she's not always going to look like that, right?

Best New Yogurt Brand/Flavor: Rachel's Exotic Mango Pineapple Passionfruit

Underrated Dance Move: The Shower

Oh, hello, friends. Look, I've been wanting to talk to you. I'm sorry about our time apart. I know you're mad at me, and you probably don't know if you're ready to talk yet, but maybe giving each other space was good, because it allowed us to look within and decide what we really want out of this relationship, like Posh and David Beckham, or that other couple with all the adopted international babies.

But now that we're back together, I'm really bringing it with a Diehard-esque vengeance. See, for the past few weeks i've been drowning in deadlines. An entire pre-school package for Boston Magazine, papers for my lit poetry class, a column for WD, this thing my mom wanted me to do in her garage, a 21st b-day extravanganza for a best family friend that involved PF Changs and something called a Buttery Nipple, etc. And that was driving me mad. But, fear not--as of today-- everything has been completed and I am once again heading back to my father's So-So Cal hacienda for some R and R, ~~awkward questions regarding just what i'm going to do with my life when i finally stop going to school~~ quiet time with the fam, soul searching, iron pumping, free dinner scrubbing and, of course, some serious noveling. This time it's all about the re-~~mix~~write. And to celebrate the occasion, please enjoy this poem I wrote about traveling entitled "Dad, Get me at the airport", which has Ashberrian influences and is probably slated for publication in the Paris Review sometime next Spring:

Dad, Get me at the airport
words by Kevin Alexander

It's your
firstborn son.
No, not
Brian. Kevin.
My flight gets in
around 9-
ish.

Yeah, wow, as you may be able to tell, my poetry class is obviously paying dividends. Anyway, in honor of my second trip to So Cal I will be dropping entries every couple of days detailing my writing progress, the gentle way I order my In N Out Burgers, what obscure Scottish Mystery Novelist my father is now reading, and hilarious highlights of conversations I get myself into when I pretend like I know about surfing.

I'm so happy we're back together. Let's never fight again.

I get knocked down,
but i get up again

Chumba,
wamba

PS- As an appetizer, something to get you in the SoCal mood and fluent in the SoCal lifestyle, I will let my man Malibu from American Gladiators expound on Burrough's existentialism in postmodern lit, China's role in the 21st century global market and "brewski's".

8/9/2007 2:23:14 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

Comments [4]