Thursday, May 29, 2008
In Case You Have Nothing To Do and The View is a Re-Run...
I will be interviewed on Helen Coronato's Novel Idea radio show from 10-11 AM Thurs morning. Possible topics include books, supremely clever puns my illustrious career and the awe-inspiring fragility of my ego.
You can tune in and find out whether or not I accidentally curse via The InterWeb here:
http://www.homegrownradionj.com/DJs/shows/novel_idea.htm

And you can watch a brand old music vid from the Chinese New Year of the Rat (96!) here:
No Diggity,
No Doubt

Blackstreet


That should hold you at least through midday.



5/29/2008 12:10:45 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #  Comments [9] 
 Tuesday, May 27, 2008
A Letter To Myself
Dear Kevin,

Sup, friend!? That was a pretty nice Memorial Day weekend, wasn't it? Yes, I know you were technically "working" but, really, how much work is it to cover a sailing event on Nantucket? No, you're right; it is kind of a pain to write things down longhand, especially when it's windy. I think that's valid. Totally.

Anyway, now that you're (relatively) tan and kind of hungover energized, I thought I would take this opportunity to offer you some advice that you can utilize over the next few weeks: Finish your %$#@ book, already.

I know that there is always going to be a down period following an intense bit of writing. And yes, I know that you spent those last few weeks of your MFA life drowning in a seemingly ne'er ending cycle of thesis re-writes, Robert's American Gourmet Chaos Snack Mix and spur-of-the-moment sneaker purchases from stores in Sweden. But that was like over a month ago, right? And it doesn't seem like you have THAT much to do to finish. Start the book with a fresh chapter. Make the narrator do more rather than just narrate. Delete chapters 3 and 4. Get something romantic going in the middle with that girl who started out as peripheral character until everyone seemed to dig her. If the movie Romancing The Stone taught me anything, it's that people love romance! And hard-to-get stones, apparently. But now I've lost my train of thought. Where was I? Oh yes: just start writing again.

There are a million excuses for you to put this off, some of them even valid. But I'll tell you a little story, Kevin. Writing a book is like training for a marathon. What's that? No, no, I've never run a marathon. Bad lower back. I don't see why that matters. The point is this: it's very hard to begin. You think, "Oh God, how could anyone ever run 26 miles? I can't even name things that are 26 miles away, let alone run that far. Plus I have this bad lower back from playing soccer in college." But then you say, "You know what? Maybe today I'll run a two miles. Just two miles." And then you run it and it wasn't so bad, so you begin to do a little more and a little more, until all of a sudden you're running 13 miles a day and not even blinking.

The same thing happens with writing a book. You say, "Oh ew. How can anyone even come up with an idea that takes place over 300 pages? I don't even want to read 300 pages. And I'm a professional writer. I'm going to pout then get an Apple-Mango smoothie."
But then you start to write a few pages or a morsel of an idea, and next thing you know, you're doing five pages a day, and then you have something that kind of looks like a book, assuming you would just get rid of chapters 3 and 4.

The key, though, is to see it through. The more time you spend away, the less easy it is to return to the point where you feel comfortable. Like running. Take a month off, then try and run 13 miles. Guaranteed stress fracture. Lose-lose.

So Kev, please. Just finish the book. Finish it. Finish. It. Then I promise I'll stop waking you up in the middle of the night and making you feel guilty. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to watch Lost online. I would invite you to join me, but I think you have something to do.

Most Lovingly,

Kev

PS- Here's the video California Love from the magical year of 1996 (new time period!). Tupac and Dr. Dre know how to keep it rocking, probably bc they're in the Sunshine state where the bomb ass hymns be.



5/27/2008 4:57:22 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #  Comments [12] 
 Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The (Almost) Summer Reading List
I know, friends that it's not yet summer. Trust me, I know. Boston  
has apparently decided that Mother Nature's iPod is going to play the  
Make it Rain (remix) over and over, and it is forcing me to stay  
inside, which is making me cranky and nearly translucent. And while  
I've been sitting here in my room amongst my boxes of (limited  
edition!) sneakers and Island Spa scented Yankee Candles, I've been  
staring at all of the books that I'd been meaning to read whilst  
slaving away on my thesis. And I've decided that it is time that I  
got off my (well-toned!) literary duff and started reading again lest  
I forget how to properly use nouns.  So here is a list of some of the  
books that I'm going to tackle over the summer, the reasoning for  
doing so, and the song from 1988 that comes closest to characterizing  
what I think the point of the book is.

All the Sad Young Literary Men by Keith Gessen
The new new Benjamin Kunkel, Gessen is the editor/founder of n+1 lit  
mag and I'm supposed to read this book because it's by a youngish guy  
who writes about guys, but kind of in a literary way, which is what I  
always thought I was going to be when I grew up. I am also supposed  
to have strong feelings about this book one way or the other and  
express those feelings to people who ask in aggressive and  
exaggerated tones. Obviously, this book is putting a lot of pressure  
on me.
Most fitting song from 1988: Man in the Mirror by MJ

De Niro's Game by Rawi Hage
This book came to me highly recommended by my dad, someone who no  
longer reads American fiction because it is "boring" or "not by  
someone Scottish." This book isn't by a Scott either as Hage is  
Lebanese, lives in Montreal and writes about civil war torn Beirut.  
Maybe my dad didn't know. A review from some Canadian newspaper on  
the back of the book reminds someone Canadian of Hemingway. This  
appeals to me, because I like Hemingway and Canadians. A potential  
win-win.
Song from 1988: I Don't Want to Live Without You by Foreigner (more  
for the band than the song)


Only Love Can Break Your Heart by David Samuels
I am a sucker for collections of essays by journalists I dig. And I  
dig David Samuels. He's the dude who wrote the story about Britney  
Spears and the Papa Razzi for the Atlantic. He also writes for The  
New Yorker and Harpers, which makes him automatically obnoxious to  
talk to at dinner parties. Despite this potential downside, I love  
his work and celebrate collections like this, because they remind me  
that I should be a better journalist if I'd only get over my fear of  
hard work.
Song from 88: Everything Your Heart Desires by Hall and Oates

Winner of the National Book Award by Jincy Willet
Something you may not know about me: I don't like funny books. I like  
books that have humor in them, but I need a point to the story. I  
can't stand humor for humor's sake. I just get upset about it, in  
some sort of meta-outside-the-Matrix type way. This should explain  
why I have a piece of paper taped above my desk that says "Forced  
Humor= Kill Yourself." Regardless, this is allegedly a hilarious book  
with a point. I am nervous because of the hilarious title, but more  
than willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. Plus I understand  
it has a decent amount of stuff about weather, which is interesting  
to someone who has to stay inside all day thanks to Mother Nature's  
insufferable inclination to drop April Showers in May. Wow. Sorry you  
had to see that.
Song from 88: Devil Inside by INXS

The Bottom Billion by Paul Collier
This is a serious look at "why the poorest countries are failing and  
what can be done about it." It takes care of two gifting birds with  
one stone for me. One, it momentarily neutralizes my occasional bouts  
of terrible liberal guilt, which I assuage by giving away things or  
reading intellectually heavy books like this one. And two, it  
fulfills my insecure notion that I need to be educating myself  
through whatever I'm reading as if I might be tested at any moment in  
some sort of impromptu Jeopardy match. Market research tells me  
otherwise but hey! It's fun to be prepared.
Song from 88: (Not so) Perfect World by Huey Lewis and the News

And that is that. More songs will come as time passes and the weather  
thaws, but please drop your own fantastic pseudo summer booklists in  
the comments portion of the show, and try and avoid  operating heavy  
machinery while ingesting le music de 1988.

Catch Me,
(I'm Falling)

Pretty Poison



5/20/2008 9:08:10 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #  Comments [15] 
 Tuesday, May 13, 2008
A Heartwarming Blog of Staggering Length: James Frey's Redemption, My Mantra, and More
Look, friends, I was going to tell you to read the book Lush Life by Richard Price. This blog entry was supposed to be dedicated to my own personal love letter to Price's work, how ever since I first read Samaritan I've been captivated by Price's mastery of dialogue, his ability to capture slang, his understanding of the gritty underbelly of city life. I was going to point you in the direction of a fantastic New Yorker article about his use of dialogue, and then make some comments about the NYC hipster culture he skews in his new book, and how I can relate to that because I know, understand and sometimes feel like I get caught up in the terrible toolness that comes with said culture, and then I was going to sign off with a song from 88 and we were all going to go about our day and do some bikram yoga. But then I read the NYTimes, and I realized that James Frey has a new book and I decided I would rather talk about that. So I deleted my Price post. That doesn't change the fact that I think you should still read Price and that New Yorker article about dialogue and anything else I might have mentioned, it just means that we are shifting topics, and I  have an issue focusing.

Anyway, I never read A Million Little Pieces. I knew lots of people who did and who loved the book with an unimaginable type of enthusiasm, people like my sister, who felt compelled to write him a note, post-reading. And maybe that partially explained why I wasn't that upset about finding out he'd fabricated and expanded on sections of the book. I fell under the camp of people who remained confused as to why he didn't just offer up some sort of disclaimer at the front, much like Dave Eggers did in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. People, I thought, don't care about whether or not something is completely true--the imagination and the senses care more about whether something is moving, well-written, and powerful-- they just don't want to be lied to. In other words, Frey's post-story lie was much more powerful and ultimately fatal than his fictions within the book. And yeah, Oprah did her holier-than-thou Chi-town stomp on him in real time, and yeah he became a walking billboard for the death of the memoir (speaking of which, fantastic article about Augusten Burroughs and his memory in last weeks New York magazine), and yes, there were and are many reasons to never read anything else by Frey, but, still, I couldn't help but find myself enthused by the positive review in the Times.

You see, I have this theory about writing and writers. My theory goes like this: no matter who you are and where you are from and what your parents do for a living, if you can write and you know you can and you work at it every day and you know deep below the surface in that place where only the truth exists that you're not just being daft and irrational, you will get discovered. This may take weeks or it may take years or it may take decades, but my feeling is that good, solid writing rises to the top. Editors can spot  it. Agents can spot it. Other writers can spot it. And this is the beauty of the writing world. You always have to fall back on your own talent. Yes, you may get put in a prime spot by things like connections or nepotism or the lottery, but if the writing doesn't hold up, you will fall and ultimately you will fail. That--more than anything else-- is the powerful self-correcting agent in the writing world. And--despite all of my cynicism and my love of irony and all of the other knee-jerk reactive habits infused in me by my age, social standing and penchant for limited edition sneakers-- I believe in that. If I had a mantra, that would be it. Good writing rises to the top. It's not catchy, it doesn't sound good in a Nike commercial or on a lower back tattoo, but that is what I believe.

ANYWAY, the reason James Frey's positive review sparked this stream-of-conscious impromptu speech is because, ultimately, maybe his writing holds up. Maybe his writing is good enough to supersede all of the stupid personal egotastic mistakes the rest of him made. I say maybe, because I don't know. And I'm sure there will be people coming down hard on both sides; people hurt by his fabrications or people who just think he's a crappy writer or don't read this sort of stuff or people mad because he already got his time in the light and they want it too. And yes, these are all valid reasons not to read his work, but those don't matter to me as much. I don't think people should be forever buried on one mistake.

To illustrate my point, I leave you with a quote from the first scene of the pilot of my favorite creative vice of all time, The Wire. Detective McNulty is sitting on a Baltimore stoop talking to a witness who was playing dice with the victim of the homicide, a kid whose name is--awesomely--Snot Boogie. The wit is talking about how every time Snot Boogie played he would inevitably steal the money from the dice game and so McNulty asks him a question:

McNulty: I got to ask you, if every time Snot Boogie would grab the money and run away, why did you even let him in the game?
Snot Boogies Pal: What?
McNulty: If Snot Boogie always stole the money why did you let him play?
Snot Boogies Pal: Got to. This America, man.


His point being that, in America, everyone gets a second chance. And if the person doing that good writing just happens to be James Frey--sinner of sins, liar of lies, anger-er of Oprah--well..I say good for him. After all, this America, man.

Apologies for the book-length work. I hope you find pleasure in the knowledge that we are giving the music of 1988 a second chance as well.

One More,
Try

George Michael



5/13/2008 8:53:35 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #  Comments [14] 
 Tuesday, May 06, 2008
On Journalizing, Radio Shows and Organic Breakfast Foodstuffs
As I've mentioned at least seven times before, I dabble in  
journalizing as a contributing editor at Boston Magazine. Unlike the  
stuff you see here, Boston Magazine is all about chronicling the  
lives of other people in Boston, which means I don't get to speak in  
the first person, which is hard for someone as talented AND modest as  
I. Anyway, I wrote a piece for the May issue of Boston Magazine which  
followed two young gentlemen whose interests lie in the pursuit of  
making time with older women. The piece was titled "On the Prowl with  
The Cougar Hunters."


Normally, when a piece I write comes out, I send my friends an email  
via one of the Internets providing a link to the story and then sit  
back and wait for them to feel guilty enough to send me a vaguely  
complimentary email about general aspects of the piece. Inevitably,  
one person--usually my mom-- calls to congratulate me, and in doing  
so accidentally offends: "Oh hon, that was great! It didn't sound  
like you at all!!!"

So you can be sure I was alarmed when--within the first 24 hours of  
the publication hitting the newstands-- I had seven requests to go on  
(FM!) radio shows, a comment war below the piece on the Mag website  
accusing me of plagiarizing a blog post that came out after the  
magazine had already gone to press, and two bowls of Frosted Mini-
Wheats mixed with some sort of organic maple granola . This is not  
something that normally happens to me. In the past four years of my  
journalism career, I had a total of  no requests for radio shows  
stemming from Boston Magazine work. No cries of plagiarism, no  
organic breakfast foods, nothing. What could have possibly turned the  
tide, I wondered. And then that night, as I lay in my Pima cotton bed  
sheets, I realized: it had to be me.

"Have you seen the movie Almost Famous?" I asked the Big Cat the next  
day, via phone, as he sat in his cube (probably) scrolling through  
thesuperficial.com. "That's like me now, without the almost part. The  
only question is how to exploit it. Do you think I should break into  
television or movies first, or do them simultaneously like Jennifer  
Garner did when she was on Alias?"

"First of all, you're even well known, let alone famous," he said.  
"You just wrote about something juicy and gossipy. And second, don't  
ever try to compare yourself to Agent Sidney Bristow. She was an  
amazing independent but ultimately conflicted woman."

Hmmm. The fact that this short-lived time in the spotlight wasn't  
about me was mildly troubling, but it did teach me several life  
lessons, which I will display for you in alphabetical order:

1. It is factually accurate to say that the general public loves  
stories about people of different ages making out in steakhouse bars.
2. Do not accidentally swear live on the radio, then swear again  
while apologizing for swearing.
3. Don't get really, really angry about a plagiarizing accusation and  
search the Internets for the anonymous person who posted the  
accusation, especially if the thing they accused you of was  
literally, physically, and socially-emotionally impossible.
4. Do embrace the fact that--no matter how many times you get  
published--it is still always awesome to get that tight, nervous,  
proud feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see something that  
you created released to the general public. Even if they're only  
reading it to hear about the tongue kissing.

May is upon us, friends, and I hope everyone is aware that--as John  
Quincy Adams said-- April showers bring May flowers. Please direct  
your opines, accusations of plagiary, Dancing With The Star guest  
appearance invites, and links to baby panda bears sneezing to the  
Commenting section located beneath your seat. In the event of a water  
landing, the songs from 1988 double as a floatation device.

Got My Mind,
Set on You

George Harrison



5/6/2008 10:03:20 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #  Comments [24]